Well up again at the crack of dawn , we've all been up the crack of dawn all i can say is lucky Dawn who ever she is .Its dull grey and wet YET AGAIN , just bet the Olympics is going to be one big wash out serves them right for hosting it in England least the sale of umbrellas and wellington boots will go up. If i was trying to sell England to a foreign buyer and had to list all the good points i am not sure what top ten things on that list would be IF ANYTHING.

The Beaches :- down south not too bad but compared to Bora Bora , Seychelles Maldives then no , only thing in common is yes , we have salt in our oceans too ,but don't take a mouthful we have other stuff floating around in there too.

The Hotels :- not really unless you are super rich they are average hotels offering poor service poor food and poorly decorated rooms with dripping showers hard beds and poor lighting on line with Fawlty towers at best.ONLY PLACE YOU WILL SEE A TROUSER PRESS.

The Food :- well its why we have brown sauce and tomato sauce , mustard and Lea Perrins , food very bland some hand made pork pies from local butchers very good , fish and chips good up North shite down south scraps a must deep fried mars bars and pies if in Scotland , stay away from all Indian and Chinese fish shops they just don't do it right if they are not using beef dripping to fry in don't go there.

Breakfast very good unless up Scotland than its kippers and salty porridge that's why god gave them whiskey. Kebab pizzas worth a try Subway's too , KFC and Maccy d's if your American and you end up in one you wont stop laughing you will choke , the quality and portions nothing like you get in the states you be photographing it and posting it to friends back home .

Prices cost of living :- if using travels cheques to save time and queueing cash them all at once , and be prepared to max out all credit cards you will never ever forget your trip to rainy wet grey sodden England , as you will be paying it for years to come.

Transport :- railways , buses wait ages in the rain then pay extortionate prices and fares whats fair about them i have no idea ,stand up most of the way only to find it would have been healthier and quicker to cycle there, please note most city's say they are twenty four hours and city's that never sleep ,but bus drivers do you will find that all buses stop ruining at around half past eleven , taxis take a pack up with you specially in London you be in traffic for ages the drivers don't have a meter in the cabs they have a calender.

Weather :- good for ducks and frogs.

People :- we speak numerous dialects and have our own little customs , and then there is Wales and the Welsh don't even try to read the sign posts they might as well be written in Chinese and don't mention shearing sheep you'll have to get your own.

As you can guess I am not going to the Olympics , i am not really interested its a white elephant at best ,including G4S security thank god they don't give them guns ,be lucky if they have alarm clocks but Glocks nah, and i know that we wont do that well what's new ,and i know people will say its the taking part that counts , no its wining that counts and we don't do wining that good anymore, and buy the way its still FCUKING raining.

The Medals
The Olympic medals are designed especially for each individual Olympic Games by the host city's organizing committee. Each medal must be at least three millimeters thick and 60 millimeters in diameter. Also, the gold and silver Olympic medals must be made out of 92.5 percent silver, with the gold medal covered in six grams of gold. ours come in a little red net money bag in gold foil and have chocolate in them yum yum something we got right years ago.