Sick off all this rain got soaked walking to the night job at the Hospital bloody rainy Mondays but i did get one great and nice surprise my girlfriend and been to visit her Mother and afterwards called into where i work.
As i always work on my own so it was easy for her to call in after work she stayed until my shift ended st nine o clock afterwards she took us to the Slug and Lettuce got there at around 9.15 for a late tea/supper, 1 Cesar salad and a steak sandwhich half a lager and lime and a bottle of Magners later we headed home got a taxi back to the flat.

Bought the new single by Adele "chasing pavements" and three birthday cards and a book of 1st class stamps ,it's my Brother in laws birthday Daughters and Sons birthday all this week.

Got to go get a tattoo on my arm covered up asp its bugging me and its time it went west its the wife's name done in a blue heart so i do need a day off to go sort it out with my tattooist , atm i have no time due to me and no more holidays till April but might be able to get one of next week or the week after using some flexi time .

Got the credit card bill came in more i thought always forget some of the things i purchased but i had quite few expenses moving into the apartment bought a compact hi-fi.dvd player etc etc credit card standing atm at £1633 to pay and credit available £2,266 will pay more than the minimum amount but not sure how much might be able to pay £600 and pay the rest next month not going to use it i only had to because of the current situation letting agents wont take cash got to be debit or credit card so that added to the amount and of course Christmas and stocking up at Morrison's the first time initial visit when you have nothing in and everything as to be bought at one go cost £250 never mind what was spent at other outlets .

i will get it down in the next few months and once i get some cash from the house will pay more off the outstanding amount as well so its not all doom and glume got to watch the pennies for the next couple of pay checks though and not goon any major spending sprees.

Another weekend over worked two shifts with my girlfriend seven till three had haircut Saturday afternoon not impressed bad idea should have gone to where i normally go but it was 4 o clock Saturday afternoon had he had shut up shop ,but what the heck at least it will grow again and all be sorted in a few weeks my hair does grow quickly thank God.

My girlfriend bought her son the Assassins creed for the ps3 did not play so he kicked off cant blame him so we took that back and got a replacement fingers crossed this copy will be OK.

Bought a new oil burner for the flat and a bottle of essential oil called cannabis we smelt it first before we saw what it was called from The Yankee Candle did a bit of window shopping went to the Aire bar Sunday afternoon for dinner but the had stopped serving went to Tesco bought a frozen bag of roasted veg ,of parsnips , roast potatoes , roasted carrots and onions and some lamb and banged it all in the oven hour and half later had one of the nicest Sunday dinners i have ever had and we have still got loads of veg left and stored in the freezer for next time.

Then we both jumped in to the shower, i hooked the DVD player up to the TV in the bedroom and went to bed to watch the Michael Douglas film The Game at eight thirty we was both started nodding off so switched off the film and we slept until morning .

Bt want £124 to activate the phone line in the flat not sure i want to pay that much for the time i am going to be there line rental £11 isp £20 might get a wireless laptop and find out local hot spots for free access get half decent laptop for £399 so its a idea i am serious thinking about

Got to admit i do miss Ellie all of the time i love her to bits she makes the grey skies turn blue , she makes me laugh and smile on the inside as well as on the outside....She is a great cook looks after the apartment and me and there is nothing that i wouldn't do for her.


We will in the next few months look at getting a two bedroom house in Bramley or near to as possible to Bramley Rodlety, Farsley, Calverly depending on whats available at what quality and furnishings come with the property .

We decided a garden is a must for barbies and chilling out in the summer months and maybe if possible with off road parking as we do need to get a motor sorted out eventually.thinking it be nice to have a old stone Victorian terrace house with a cellar if possible cant beat a good sized dry cellar, a decent size kitchen if possible with a modern bathroom and double glazing central heating not asking much are we hehe.



We are both working this weekend not made any plans as of yet my Daughter as just text me wanting some cash for her birthday she is shooting of to Manchester Trafford Centre to buy some clothes this Sunday also its my sons birthday three days later so what i give one i have to give to the other the question is how much is enough i didn't really give them anything at Christmas but they was money saved already for that so they are getting a double whammy so i think £100 is more than fair,which will cost me £200 never mind cant take it with ya.

Made an appointment to see a solicitor next Wednesday got to see where i stand and what route to go down concerning the house atm i pay £600 a month which covers the mortgage i cant forever pay this amount there is another 18 years left to pay it is unrealistic i keep paying it, i need to get my name off so i could get another mortgage if i so wished i reckon we are looking at making £70k plus if we sell worth thinking about might not be for another few years but the writing is on the wall.

In the Apartment there has never been a BT line activated so if i want broadband i have to pay £126 activation installation fee seeing as i am only renting maybe for only another four months looks like i am going have to do with a Internet at the flat i am thinking of buying a laptop with a wireless card and using free wifi spots across the city http://www.thecloud.net/About-us/ or until we get a more permanent house or address

Everything seems to be going OK H brought some more of her stuff over some bikinis,tops and boots and shoes and a wicked pair of black skin tight leather trousers which hugs and fits all the right places.Some books and photographs and other various bits and pieces.

She got dropped of by her parents and they viewed where she is living all this whilst i was at work i don't finish till nine o clock and get home usually for 9-15 the beauty of working and living in town even if its opposite ends but be a great walk in summer time or once the weather starts improving.

The trouble with finishing the time i do its very rarely we get to bed before 1-30 i get up at 6-50 am so its a bloody long day i also work most of the weekends till mid afternoon but that's the price i am willing to pay as being in love with the most fantastic beautiful woman in the world
is worth it.

I try my best to make her happy , to make sure she knows just how much she means to me i wont ever stop showing just how much i care , i am putting 110% effect into making know she knows every time i am with her she as given up everything to be with me i will not let her down cheat on her curse her or put her second best she is no1 i do everything to give us a decent life and what we don't have material wise ie big House's flash cars we will make up with love and having fun with what we do have is plenty of music to listen to films to watch and books to read , there is loads of photos yet to take hopefully and memories to make.

Need to buy a breville Sandwhich toaster , radio alarm clock and a clock for the living room and a black coloured DVD player for the bedroom.

The weekend went great had a good pig out at no1 chinese buffet with my daughter and her Friend that she brought along with her for the journey into Leeds city centre my daughter is 17 years old at the end of the month.

Went to the Aire bar for lager and cider, my lady read my Tarot cards for me and it predicted we would have an argument concern my wife or over my wife but we would over come it and it wouldnt be a problem.

Monday my wife told my lady's husband that i had a std that i infected her and because of me that she is on tablets the rest of her life because of what i passed to her or she contracted from me.

I get cold sores which is a form of herpes i have strain type 1 my wife has herpes strain type 2 (her bad card) if i am in the process of getting a cold sore or i did have one , and i then went and had oral sex with my wife i could trigger an attack in her , which i do admit is not nice and can be very unpleasant she might never have another attack as long as she lives she could every time she is run down and i have the virus but it doesn't form a cold sore this can happen , she as had two or three outbreaks in 18 years of marriage the first time after we must have been together 8 years before it occurred , it does clear up when she gets zorvirax tablets available on prescription but saying this she does not take tablets when she is not infected so for her to say she is permanently on medication the rest of her life is a lie , any one who as cold sores has a herpes strain 1 and could infect her or could trigger an attack in her........... my lover and lady also like me gets cold sores which is strain 1 like me as far as i am aware we cancel each other out because we have the same herpes variant , as i think 50% plus of the population does, so to make out i was dirty and unclean and a deadly carrier of some awful disease really got my goat up.

My lady and i talked it through and luckly it as not had a lasting effect but when she did first get told about it out she was ready for walking out and did i understand why the way it was put to her i couldnt fault her and she did text me to tell me it was all over becuase she had no idea of the big picture but lucky she came home sat down and we discussed it talked it through .

I went online and got information on this subject she had no idea the link between cold sores and herpes but she does now and we are both going to a std clinic to get both off us checked out at the end of the day neither one of us is unclean dirty we just sometimes get a cold sore but better to be safe than sorry and will end up with a clean bill of helath ........................

working to night till nine o clock then have got three days off or at least till my Monday night shift .
Hopefully going to have a chilled out weekend drink shopping and making love to the most beautiful and special woman in the world , she is today off to the her solicitors to restart her divorce proceedings there is for her no going back after today , she as burnt her bridges my lay in ashes already and even though i have not started proceedings myself it is only matter of weeks away that i will start my divorce of course that's if she doesn't start them up against me so far all contact we have had in the last eight weeks have been via email and text she wont see me f2f or speak to me verbally on the phone.

Cant believe how much i love this woman how i adore and worship her , everything we have both given up to be with one another is unbelievable and i never expected her to give up what she as.

We might have to rent property the rest of our life is that any worse then paying a mortgage i am 48 and she is 39 a twenty five year mortgage we might not end up completing due to ages who knows so why worry,and anywhere what is comfortable and where love resides is home we can still have nice possessions and decorate rooms to our needs so it doesn't phase me at the end of the day we will be happy and content.

As i am still paying the mortgage on a house i own with my ex , who knows down the line if its ever sold the cash from the sale will sort us out for years to come if we are careful and don't go mad budget and buy what we need.

Last night going back to the house it didn't stir any memories saw both my children and that was nice without ant tears.

got my shuttle PC speakers the lot got about 30 or so DVDs and few selected books some plywood boxes from Ikea but most of all my mums ashes wish a contained in a small silver cherub tin which is sealed.

A good friend from work took me over and drove me back with everything did it in around hour and half which was not too bad considering the traffic going.

still left loads of other stuff don't think my ex wife will bin any of it , as long as i carry on paying the £600 mortgage every month which i plan on doing for as long as it is financially viable.

Anyway got back home set the computer up everything worked fine all i need now is an ISP to provide a connection to cyberspace.

Still waiting delivery of a new pen drive from svp communications hopefully should hit the mail box by tomorrow the Tesco express opens tomorrow at 8.00am be a godsend tinned curry and bottle water in vast supplies hopefully.

Still working hard my girlfriend who lives with me went over to pick some more off her belongings up she brought over a nice wooden candle holder twigs with lights a stone ornament of a naked women sat down clutching her knees a standard lamp with a black Gothic shade some wind chimes a wooden cat and Buddha craved head statue some DVDs and CD,s some shells a wooden oblong bowel and an ornate metal work fruit bowl so things are looking good.
Like me she is having to leave loads of her possessions and belongings where she used to live and feels the situation is to bad to go back and get the rest of her stuff.

washing machine , dish washer and dryer , fridge freezer, tv's will all need replacing at some stage as nothing last for ever, so we will just buy new when we have the cash to whilst we are renting furnished flats all that stuff comes within the let so its the odd piece of art work and posters soft furnishings.



still need other items like a radio alarm we are still using the mobile phone's , a new TV for the bedroom and some art work a chest of drawers is a must and a shoe rack we are trying to sort out a trip to Ikea its hard not having a car need to buy some throws and rugs and a hat and coat stand for the hall way.



will need to see what i can blag from my house when i go over to night might be odd piece i decide i can take with out causing world war three i have paid for it all but i never went out and actually bought anyhting i was too busy earning the cash but it dosn't mean i want her to have it all.
got to get the concrete gargoyle i bought the day my mother died its in the garden Will take it with me it will have to live inside and will need cleaning up where it will sit i have no idea atm.



Not working this weekend Will look round town for some other bargains bits and pieces meeting up with my Daughter this Saturday so another Chinese is a certainty .



On Sunday we want to go for a walk around the canals and shoot some photos with the new camera will go to the dark arches and along the bank if the weather permits have a full English along the way

My Girlfriend as not been too good she had a sore throat hot and cold sweats and general knackered living with me ain't easy lol o/j.

loads of bugs going round at the moment and seeing we both work at the Hospital its no wonder we don't get more viruses and plagues.

Bought her some Sudafed and a bottle of cough throat medicine hopefully she will get no worse.

she manage to cook tea she is a star and i love her to bits.


Going to First Choice tonight on the way to my night job for a brochure and plan where we want to go for a holiday this year. Two weeks of sun and surf as got to be just what the doctor order have not had a decent holiday for three years. Seriously considering Cuba but not sure if i can last the flight though.

Finished work on Saturday meet my sister at the back street of the hospital she had brought me the Lumix Panasonic FZ18 bought of QVC channel and a Fuji 6.3 million pixel camera which was going for £40 at a local store this i will take out on nights out places i don't fancy taking a large camera out and about.



Went to N01 Chinese buffet and pig out for four of us was on £32 including a round of drinks .



bought two CD's form the sale at HMV James "the best of" and Manic Street preachers both for £7.00.

Picking my computer up from my ex wife's and my old house Wednesday night after work so at least that will make me a lot happier thought she might have had other ideas about me going round be she agreed it was not a problem not sure what else i need to or want to take with me this might be the last chance i get at having anything away got loads of tattoo magazines i collected over the last 15 years might have to leave them at the apartment there is limited room and storage never mind that's life.

Been told that i can become a key holder at work and as i live only two minutes away, and seeing there is no parking that comes with the flat unless you are willing to fork out loads of cash which is like haif the rent again , it dosn,t take much working out way i voluntered my services council employers dont work weekends bank holidays and every one is out of the office and gone home for five on a night magic.

All i need to sort out is a second hand motor stilll waiting the cash from the endowment which hopefully is all sorted out this time round the forms have been returned three times for minor discrepencies but fingers crossed looks like we are ok this time round then might see what i can get at a resonable price no more than 2k.

Desperately need to sort out a Internet connection as i am picking my computer up mid next week. Just ordered online a 2 gig pen drive got photos on my PC at work i need to transfer to put on my own computer checked out Pc World too much money . i have got some dvds i need to rip and write to disc and some Cd's i have backed up need burning to disc.



finished work at nine o clock last night walked through town to the apartment picked up a ciabatta loaf from Simpson's deli along the way . Ellie had cooked a lasagne with jacket potatoes and i got to admit it was the best she also does a really nice tagliatelle with smoked ham starting to prefer Italian food to Chinese and Indian need to find a nice white wine to go with it instead of bottled lager.
Bought a book on the graffiti artist Banksy from HMV first saw his work online and i do like urban street art. Want to buy John Twelve Hawks new novel in paperback seen it in hardback but not in paperback will have to wait i guess.

Working this weekend again might do a full month there is plenty of stuff i need to buy for the flat a coat stand for the hallway a table for the pc a magazine rack CD DVD rack rugs for the side of the bed some fitted sheets pillow cases and duvet covers need some oil burners and incense sticks/cones i would like a large wooden hardwood bowl shoe rack and general storage boxes .
Also need to get a psp for gaming and films don't know if i want to get a ps3 as well or a x-box.
also tempted to get a reasonable priced laptop for round and about using wi-fi hot spots will see how the cash spans out .

the view from the ninth floor of the apartment living room not the best of views but it could be worse

kitchen also contains fridge freezer washer dryer and all other appliances did bring new plates knives and forks and bought a new frying pan.

The bedroom could do with some chest of drawers will try and get them to match if we can find out where the other ones came from .

The main living area also furnished bought a new hi-fi and a DVD player bought a few DVD discs in the sales Scarface, Casino, sliver just to name a few

Bathroom i didn't know towels cost what they do spent over £120 on towels bath rug and other bits and pieces

Another view of the kitchen stable diet pasta and smoked ham done in double cream and white wine with mushrooms and hot fresh baked bread yum yum .

all these photos taken with LG Viewty mobile phone

First day back at my full time job and access to a PC , I have been working at the Hospital on and off during the festive season.Apart from working five till nine have worked the last two weekends and will work this weekend as well.

Have settled well into the new apartment and this will our second week and so far so good no major hiccups the washing machine leaked but it was nothing major it did lift the laminate flooring but should settle back down and tighten up once its dried out.
We went down to the canal and feed the ducks on Christmas day and walked in to town it was like the Will Smith film and totally deserted not that i have been to see the film just the trailers on TV.

Had to buy a new iron and an airier also bough a new Sony CD/dab radio player with blue tooth ability was suppose to come with a free clock which they had run out so got £45 knocked off the price instead.
Need to buy a radio alarm clock i want when whats blue L.E.D instead of using the mobile , also need to buy a clock for the living area another thing we do need is some foliage in the form of a yucca and other greenage.

Sorted out a new debit card and credit card for emergency's only and have a new Panasonic Lumix 18x digital zoom camera which is waiting for me to pick up from my sisters house which is where i was living when she ordered it off QVC for me.

Need few select pieces regarding ornaments seen a very nice two foot sitting Indian god in gold for the hall way might have to go buy it if its still available once i get paid on the 16th of this month.Could also do with a shelving unit or bookcase.

Stayed in a travel lodge last night booked a double room its too bloody warm why are hotel rooms always too hot, booked in at three o clock but still had to go to work at hospital at five o clock.
I went and paid £738 which was a five hundred pound bond and half a months rent i get the keys hopefully eleven thirty this Friday.
After i finished work at nine o clock went back and met Ellie to a local kebab shop she had chicken burger and i a tray of kebab meat and chips with chili sauce how the other half lives.
The bedroom and bathroom are both spot on the room is too brightly light even with the smaller side lights on and we are both now still living out of suitcase,s and head bags but i guess some things never change but hopefully we are nearly there and by Friday we are hopefully sorted.

A view of the apartment block i will be living in for at least the next six months this is where we will be calling home.
There as been a new development will be together now before Friday my Girlfriend was living at her Mothers but for reasons she has to move out by tomorrow so i have had no choice to book a hotel for the both of us in the city centre for Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday we was moving in together Friday anyway but now we will be together three days and three nights early which suits me to a T.
cant always make plans that are set in stone loads of other facts govern are life's like ex husbands and wife's kids and pets nothing is easy but its come to a point where we both need a firm base and a place to call home.. we do love each other and this way we are going to spend our first Christmas together which if some one had told me this in August of this year which is the first time i meet her out side working at the Hospital i would have laughed my head off.

From one dinner time meeting at Asda which as lead to this is point in time and space is totally beyond believe and if you read our story as a script to a drama or play you wouldn't believe it how and it would be re writing as being too far fetched but i suppose that is life ... six years later after attending her wedding night reception it has brought us both to here and now what the future contains then watch this space ..all i know is 2008 is going to be nothing like 2007 for either of us

I have decided to take the apartment at Clarence Dock its cheaper at £525 a month, and the first month is half price so i have took out a six month lease on it.

its a one bedroom apartment with a separate bedroom and bathroom the kitchen is bigger then the Bridgewater place and is part of the living room dining room its on the ninth floor but its lacking a balcony but does have patio doors that open inwards and i move in next Friday at noon.
cant believe it is then Christmas the following Tuesday , i have no Christmas tree and no Turkey ordered need to buy everything from new duvets and sheets to cleaning products and bathroom essentials etc.

cashing in a endowment policy selling it on my share will be five thousand going to pair dozen pair of jeans and a decent overcoat a decent leather jacket that should last me years as wont have loads of extra cash for clothes got to get stuff when i have some money.

also need to get a camera opting for for a samsung nv15 also need a DVD player that will play mp3s and a CD player for the bedroom, other then that once i get my shuttle pc from my ex home i should be sorted not sure if i am going to get a games console will wait and see.

so fingers crossed next weekend will be the start of a new era my girlfriend whom as giving everything up as well to be with me will be moving in with me hopefully for a long lasting loving relationship we have both given up everything so it must work ts took us six years to get us to here and now .

Started working back at the Hospital working 17:00 till 21:00 Monday to Friday. Getting up at 6:00 am each morning still sleeping on the Z-bed and not getting home again till 22:00 which makes for a long day,by the time i have showered and feed my self its sleep and work but it is freedom and i know it will get better when i have my own place but at least my weekends are still free and i am madly in love with my girl.



we are going to view another apartment today at Clarence Dock still got the option of moving into Bridgewater Place but needs might make me take somewhere sooner need a place asp really i think the rent will be cheaper and i have been told the first month is free so might go for it will viewing at two and will see what is on offer.



at the moment i am living out of three Head bags and keep adding to my possession's so far Ii have bought two new pairs of jeans, a overcoat, casual jacket, 6 new easy iron shirts, a pair of trousers, 3 black t - shirts, 3 white t-shirts, and two polo shirts numerous pairs of underpants and socks and one pair of trainers in black and a belt, i am at this rate going to need to buy another head bag or two if i don't get a place of my own soon.



all correspondence to my wife has been via text and e,mail have not spoke to her or seen her in person which is weird i understand she is pissed of with me but she has kept the house i am paying the mortgage each and every month also she kept the car which is only one year old she is keeping all the furniture and everything else the house ,it is exactly the same when i lived there other than my clothes are not there and i am not there.



all i plan in the future on taking from the house is a few books, CD,s DVD,s and my computer but only when i get a place of my own.



i cant help that i don't love her anymore i have not cheated on her in the physical sense in 18 years of marriage the restrictions she placed on me in the end was too much and i thought for the last few years i would be better on my own and a lot happier life is too short to be sad and down so i went for it , happiness over money i wont starve and there is not much i need to be contented.

alot has happened since my last blog,my future babe Helen as left her husband and is living at her parents.i have an apartment to move into in the new year between the 4th and 10th of Jan 2008 AT Bridgewater Leeds £580 a month expensive but not going to slum it its totally fitted out white white appliances plus a leather four seater settee and leather bed mirrored sliding doors wardrobes power shower and laminated floors and a most of all a balcony and for some reason that sold it for me i have got a mental picture of sitting out in summer with a laptop and a bottle of magners and chillin watching the world go by roll on next year and i can start getting things back to normal asp

moved out of the family home again tried to sort my feelings out but it just want happening i dont love my wife i cant stand to be close to her hold her hand her voice irratates me i think she knows how i feel its hard not to notice the changes that have occured .

so i moved back into my Sisters for the time being should have stayed living there the first time round and not gone back home and would have been sorted by now.

i am in the down stairs back room on a z-bed and i am happy.took my clothes i pod books and some dvds but no pc as of yet typing this out at work all i want is to be happy with a certain stunning girl called H

There is a Marks and Spencers just food outlet near where iam living and i keep buying their tinned currys and nan breads which are quite dear there is a new tesco opening up near where i work the sooner the better.

went back to Primark stocked up on black,white t-shirts and socks and underpants again.

lost my camera in the process so took a O2 contract out for a LG viewty it was costing me a small fortune on pay as you go at least £10 every five days, so it made sense the camera is good enough for now but dosnt compensate for a proper Lumix Panasonic that i had and lost.

went to York stayed over Saturday night at a B&B £70 for a double room. Great fun with the market and local pubs and bars and being there with the one i love , this girl dosnt know just what she means and does to me she is my whole life i love her so much i dont want her ever to leave me she is the best thing in my world ........