Feel elated that Helen will be spending nights back at our home and house four nights missing her is enough.
I do hope this does not happen again.It's awkward phoning her text-ing her etc when she is in the company of her EX - Husband at her old home and house.
I do accept the fact that she does what she as to do at times when she has no or little choice in the matter ,but it doesn't mean that it hurts any the less when she as to go there.

As long has she is under no threat and returns safely then i have no option but to grin and bear it, what else can i do i couldn't or wouldn't say to her no you cant go. At the end of the day what she goes back to is all what she walked away from to be with me.

The few times i have returned to my house i feel absolute nothing "ITS JUST BRICKS AND MORTAR" i don't miss what i used to have , i did have a very nice house but the last few years it never felt like home. My home, life and future is with Helen and one day we will be in a position to buy our own house, that will be a day to write about , we have made lots of head way all in under nine months and things have moved on a great deal all things have change and will continue to change.

over the last year there is one major discovery i have made that i have never loved or cared for anyone the way i do for Helen and that's the truth. I could never leave her, stop loving her or wanting her near me , she is my world and i hope my world never stops revolving.