In this post i can honestly say i am with the person that i want to spend the rest of my life with.
She is one of a kind and is irreplaceable, i have always had feelings for her starting six years ago when i saw her for the very first time, and my heart went BOOOOOM . I love her more each day i just have to look at her smile and i melt. I have not ever known any other woman that has captured my heart mind and soul the way she has . She does stuff to me and gives me feelings and makes my heart beat faster just by being herself.I want my world to always include her,and i would never leave her for anything or anybody, and i will always put her first but above all else i want to make her feel loved and be happy regardless of money and wealth. I will not let her down or desert her or ever abandon her........... i couldn't she is now apart of me she lives in my heart and soul.Thank you Helen for being you for having faith, keeping it real, and for being a Angel that lives with me.

Last night went to my old home to drop two framed photo's of my Mother. I took them from the dresser in the kitchen this , was Tuesday night ,wheni went i went to see Guy, he was stressed out over his sister being in his room whilst he was staying with us.

She had messed his room up and he had been into hers and messed hers up, nothing major that could not be tided up but he text me to phone him and he was distraught and wanted to come and stay with us that night.I went round to see him at around half eleven.

So whilst i was there i took a few bits and pieces nothing major a wooden sun , a Buddha's head and a wooden cross that my mum had in her living room and i always saw when you visited her,a photo of my Dad whilst he was in the Royal Air Force during World War 2 , and the photos of my Mum was included with the stuff i took.

My Daughter text me last night at eight o clock distraught saying thanks , she now has no photo of my mum, and she would forget what she looked like. I felt bad and it made me upset that she felt like that , so hence the visit home last night after i finished work, at around half nine i returned the photo's.

Back at work today after having yesterday off we always get two days of when its a bank holiday, apart from mayday.
Helen is skint and i know its bugging her, she worries she gets paid a day late because of the bank holiday Monday.At least it only have to last six days , She has bought a lovely cream old fashioned kettle of eBay its one to use on the gas ring, and it whistles when its boiled,and a new feeding bowls for the cat which was quite expensive. I am not as skint because i earn more than she does but i do need to save some cash as well.
We have decided to go on a saving spree and only buy what we need and not what we want, just get the essentials and no extras no take aways (including fish and chips , Helen lol ) Helen's home made fish and chips are better , or any other impulse buys of eBay, for at least for a month or two.
If i can work this weekend, i will try and find out tonight, i will have done five weekends in one pay month, and i should get net well over a thousand pounds , as well as £1400 from my other job, it always looks good on paper, i need to get in front with some bills council tax, gas, and electric this will make it easier for the Christmas period, and once it comes September , it will fly by as it always does.
We have decided when we can and this might not be until next year , that we want to buy a little country cottage ,with a garden and porch and open fire place , that is some where close to Leeds but away from the city centre , this is both our dream and plans and hopefully when are divorces are final , we will be in a position to to make this happen and to buy a home again and to get back on the property ladder.

Bank Holiday Monday
Dropped of Guy at the Royal Armouries,then Helen and i went over to Selby e also took Ellie our westie with us ,we went to visit the market we only bought some bulbs for pots planters and the garden.
Picked Guy up he had bought me a Buddha, hope its a lucky one and a shopping trolley token key ring , and Helen a circle of life pendant that is inscribed with the word Angel.He was giving £20 by my sister when we went to visit the other day, he also bought his mother something , i know not what .He should save his cash he does not get that much , (thank you Guy) ,
That night we loaded the wood burner up with rolled up newspapers, kindling wood, and slow burning logs , it lighted the first time without the need of any petrol or paraffin the wood burner was ignited .
It did put out a load of smoke to begin with but it settled down, and we ended up playing connect four,for a couple of hours at one point it did try to rain but it held.

Friday
Got up to take Helen to the doctors this morning for her half past eight appointment for a blood test and a ECG test. Went to Fred's for lunch again near to the Corn Exchange, in Leeds City Centre.Had a slice of spicy beef and a slice of Mexican chicken buy one full price get your second slice for a pound.Bought second item of eBay,some white JVC Gumy ear phones for my i-pod


Went to LaSensa before pigging out on pizza ,Helen mentioned she had tested some of their new perfume range and that she liked it,so i thought with all the trial and tribulations at the Hospital and Doctors surgery this morning and her big phobia over needles and blood samples and just for being brave, to carry on smiling and joking and because i love with her, i would get her a bottle.
Got a phone call from Helen in just after one,in the afternoon , she was on the floor on a bean bag at the computer and she couldn't get up, she had been trying to ring me but had trouble with her phone, she never seems to get a signal in our house.Eventually she did get through,i left work and got home in around twenty minutes , she was still on the floor in a lot of pain and crying .It was a good job she had not locked the door and left the key in , otherwise i would not have got in .
I got her up and made her a tea and swapped phones she has now got my LG and i have her Samsung, which works fine out of our house

Saturday
Finished work at three o clock ,picked Helen up from the house then went over to pets at home for some rabbit food and straw, and wild bird food peanuts and seed , also bought two sucker fish to help clean the fish tank.Then we went over to Swillington to collect my son Guy.He wanted to stay over again with us.
Sunday
Worked until one,went over to Ikea bought a mattress topper for the existing mattress ,as the new bed frame is being delivered this coming Monday. Also bought some low voltage lights to go around the inside of the conservatory and a new duvet cover and pillow case.s.

Left Helen tucked up in bed seeing it was raining again it is the best place to be .Registered my Virgin credit card for on line banking, previously the only way i was paying my credit card bill was via a paying in slip. I had to go in to town and pay at the Co-Op bank once a month, i now can make various payments online when i have extra funds available.
Changed my contracted hours cleaning at the hospital, from five till nine to half four to half eight.
Which is the hours i have been doing for a while now , off my own back but now its official .

Helen slipped on the wet decking at home when she went to feed the rabbit just after one o clock , she landed on her knee.So i left work early to take my son back home, and on the way back we called in to A&E.It was well after one o clock by the time we had been to the x-ray department been assessed and treated. We left with a pair of metal crutches and a black Velcro fastening leg splint soon to be advertised on eBay.... o/j.

Two o clock in the morning we arrived back home, opened a tin of Stagg chili heated it using the microwave and did four rounds of toast and butter, it which wasn't that bad Helen had fried egg sandwich's.............we went to bed.

I left work at dinnertime, picked up my son Guy from the family home ,he is staying over again tonight with us at Rodley .Then went to pick the kitten up form the re homing centre.It had been inspected by the vet and been given a clean bill of health, also she had been wormed and treated for flea's.
First introduction to the dog went ok, the cat was in her carry case and safe from harm .The kitten did not hiss and the dog did not bark, Which was a good start .There is now more females in the house then males and still cant get a hot meal or a shirt ironed ,O/J Helen i know she reads this.
Got home after work just after half eight Helen had put the cat in the bathroom out of the way with food and its litter tray. It came down to the living room and played jumped and climbed in and out of furniture, climbed into the yucca plant pot and hid under the sofas.
It slept all of the night, in its cat carrier and didn't make a sound all night.
Bought Guy two DVDs from Asda "The Hills Have Eyes" 1&2

Joined EBay and signed up for pay pal yesterday and i have already bought my first item a Brown Faux Leather cat Igloo basically a bed for our new kitten hopefully it will arrive in a few days time the igloo that is , not the cat hopefully picking the kitten up tomorrow at around dinnertime. Meeting up with my Son Guy this lunchtime set off to meet him just before twelve o clock , he missed his stop off the bus so i had some walking to do to catch up with him but 20 minutes later we eventually got to the Royal Armouries we had limited time i had to be back at work for one so we went to see the Lord of The Rings and the Narnia collection of weapons and armour used in the recent films they are on show only for a limited time , I have previously seen it a few weeks back when i went with Shayne again one dinner time from work , we only had time for a quick visit and he asked if i would walk with him back to his bus stop which i did via a quick detour to Ainsley's for pastie and pizza before i made it back to work.

Went to Argos and bought a cat scratching post.Went to Asda bought 3 box's of kitten food , biscuits and and two bags cat litter and some deodorizer for when things get smelly.Already bought a cat enclosed cat litter tray , and i bought a buy it now igloo cat bed , my first buy on eBay should soon have one star.

SATURDAY
Worked until one o clock Helen looked after Guy until i finished my shift have some Rag Doll kittens to view at over at Adel,Took Guy to JGB to buy him some new traineers he settled for a pair of Nike with Velcro strap fastenings also got a couple of Nike t-shirts and a pair of Adidas track suit bottoms.Guy asked if he could stay over again tonight we said he that he could this happened last time he wa ssuppose to saty one night and eneded up staying four nights .Went over to the Ponderosa dog and cat sanctuary to look at some kittens we saw a lovely dark chocolate black female kitten for £50 that was waiting for a new home and family it was almost closing so we said we would think about it and sleep on it .
Went to Burger King again we all had something to eat Helen ordered a chicken royal , i always think of Pulp Fiction when i hear chicken royal being mentioned , Guy had his usual ham burgers and i had a double bacon cheese burger.Went to see the kittens they are only two weeks old and cannot leave there mum for another eight weeks they are gorgeous and they are being sold for three hundred pounds and they come with a pedigree , we have discussed and agreed that a cat in our opinion has to go out exploring and not be confined to the indoors and where we live it backs on to Fields. I don't think a three hundred pound pedigree cat fits the bill. At night went to a Engagement Party at Millford Sports and Social Club , which was not that great had a pint and a half of cider some buffet and we left just after half past ten.
SUNDAY
Went to work finished at one o clock again we decided to go and buy the chocolate and black Kitten from Ponderosa they was a bit vague on the phone and we are not sure if the kitten had been sold or not they was saying it had for some reason i thought she was getting it mixed up with other cats they had in the woman who originally showed us the cats was not there , so we thought it best to drive over to Allerton and seeing first hand if the kitten had been sold or not , dropping Guy off home on the way back , we got there and discovered it had not been sold so we left a deposit of twenty pounds and we can pick it up this Wednesday after eleveno clock this is after its been checked over by a vet on the Tuesday. Just as we was leaving loads of other people turned up to view the cats and kittens and no doubt if they had seen the one we had just bought someone would have snapped her up had we been any later she we wouldn't have got her was it fate or not .
Dropped Guy of home said he would visit us again really soon decided to go get some stuff for the new cat wen to DOGS4US purchased a cat collar and some Whiskers cat food went over to the Range at Hunslet and bought a enclosed cat litter tray , feeding bowls a brush , play balls and worming and flea solutions .
Received a phone call of Guy he was bored and on his own in the house so we decided to pick him back up and take him for Sunday lunch to the Toby Carvery at Oulton pigged out Guy had gammon with veg and Irish roast beef with veg and two Yorkshire's had deserts treacle sponge for H and warm chocolate fudge cake and a jug of single cream for Guy and myself.dropped Guy of back home my X-Wife had returned with her new partner Graham so at least he wont be on his own .
Went back home Helen's brother John visited , i have never meet him before and its been over a year since Helen had seen him , he stayed around a hour had a tea and Helen gave him a guided tour round the house, After he had left we took Ellie our white Westie dog out for the first time we walked her down to the Canal , she was fine and walked on the lead really good.
MONDAY
Set my Son up an email account with Yahoo so now we can keep in touch via the Internet which i am pleased about , i have already sent him a email and i have had one back from him , I text to his phone his email address and password and he replied using his new email Addy hopefully correspondence will continue at least on a every other day basis if not on a daily basis.
Finished work Helen's phone off again for not paying her O2 phone bill when i got in she was watching the Wizard Of Oz on the pc with Ellie .

Dropped Helen of at the Doctors this morning on my way to work she was given another sick note for another month making three months of work in total she is also going for more blood tests and heart scan.
I received a phone call just before four o clock asking if i would work both the Saturday and Sunday shifts at the hospital i agreed , finished my evening shift and went to pick my son Guy up from my old abode he is staying the night i didn't think he would visit us again i know he has been getting stick from my x about the house the divorce etc etc , Took him to Burger King he ordered had a couple of ham burgers and a coke , Went to Asda bought two fresh chickens and two pork joints and two trays of chicken thighs , some frozen oven chips and some garlic mushrooms for the freezer .
It was late when Helen returned home so we went to pick up a Chinese take away from the North Sea Restaurant Stanningley Road Pudsey for the two of us Guy was not hungry we ordered 1 portion of crispy prawn meat parcels fried rice shredded duck in black bean sauce and a portion of fries.
Helen would like a cat to add to the household we have both had cats previously we will start looking for a cool cat we can buy or adopt.

Started reading the second novel by John Twelve Hawks the "Dark River" the story line follows on from his first book "The Traveller" and is as good.

It's raining again just for a change its now getting depressing , Ellie or Westie can go out next week we would like it to be sunny for a few days in a row so we can get down to the canal.


Not working this Saturday but going in Sunday for double time we might be having my son staying over Friday night its been a while and i know he is getting the brunt of my wife's emotions at this time and its getting him down.

He is only fifteen and she shouldn't be stressing him out with threats of crashing the car and ending it all , at the end of the day she is only worried herself and about having to leave the house AND NOTHING ELSE .At the end of the day its only bricks and mortar and yet she wont consider living anywhere elsewhere. she is also is telling him that they are going to be homeless on the street and will end up living on the wrong side of town.But only if she doesn't get her act together, and get a better paid job and start working more hours , other than the few hours that she works part time each day , she could also sell the car and buy a cheaper second hand run around and have cash in the bank.

Broke the ear piece of my i-pod earphones will have to replace them wont be buying the Apple replacement ones they not worth in my opinion the asking price and i think the quality could be better might by the Ross Gummy gel ones again for £7.99.

Woke up and at least its not raining as of yet , Helen got up too and made me a coffee before i set of for work i loaded the new album by the script last night on my i-pod and listened to it this morning whilst driving to work through my cassette player in the car.

Found out from my son his mother and my soon to be hopefully x-wife , is looking in to selling the house we own to a company that will buy it from and then rent it back to you , they pay between 80% and 85% market value of the house , will wait and see .

Helen did some shopping at Asda and went through the self scanning checkout , only to discover that when she tried to pay her using her debit card that she had insufficient funds to pay the amount requested hehe don't you just hate it when that happens , so went back after i finished work to get the shopping she wanted.

Back at work and its pouring down with rain feels like a Monday but its not , all the roads are really bad and water logged. I left home and Helen in a nice warm bed .... who ever invented the concept of work and a eight hour working day a five day working week and who decided on holiday entitlement and why did we agree.

Will get home tonight around half past eight p.m , i usually leave at seven a.m i work longer hours and i don't mind THAT'S BECAUSE i have a better life than what i had , its better loving and more of it..... i have more laughs hugs and cuddles and i kiss a certain lady endlessly....i email and text Helen more than any other person i know and i have sent her more messages using all the technology available in the last year then i have sent to everyone else i know in the last ten years.

I love this woman and in this my concert of life she is still centre stage and she still rocks my world...... i would be totally gutted and devastated if she ever left me hopefully that wont happen.... what ever happens we fight on together we have made a new life together and it gets better all the time.... no other woman as ever done anything close as to what Helen has done for me..... she has put all her trust and faith in me and she as given to our relationship all she as had to give and more and i will never forget that.
Certain people might think this makes me a bad person that's there f - - king problem not mine.

Saturday
finished work at one picked Helen up from the house then drove over to Meadow Hall Sheffield bought some jeans from River Island , had fish and chips from Harry Ramsden's at the oasis food hall bought some oil for the burner some tin hearts to go on the fire surround.
Sunday
A YEAR A GO TODAY I GOT HELEN'S MOBILE NUMBER and i started contacting her the following Monday and all the rest followed.... Finished work at one o clock again and picked Helen up from home no idea where to go and w eended up some how at a little village called Ripley very quaint from there went to Patley Bridge then decided to go to the White Swan at Aberford had a plate of lamb chops and chocolate fudge cake Helen had apple pie with toffee Cinnamon crumble and custard
Monday
Took Ellie to the vets for her second injection she can go out and about in a weeks time she never flinched . we booked her to get spayed this wont be until 11th November when she is six months old.Went to Tropical world at Roundhay Park hence the picture of a meerkat then to the dentist for an inspection and clean . Parked up in Leeds city centre went in to Primark and bought a white shirt , Helen bought black shirts and black coat and new knickers and bra's , went to the Town Hall to get a copy of Helen's marriage certificate for her divorce after completing a search they don't have it on record , she as to go to the church she got married at and get a copy from there it appears they have not sent them in this was over five years ago.We finally got the ironing done last night , it had been piling up so between we worked until it was finished and everything got ironed Helen taught me how to iron and i am OK at t-shirts and jeans but need more practice

Landrover as been returned to the garage it is losing water and last night the temperature gauge was on red and was slow to drive.i filled it up once the engine had cooled down and in the morning it had dropped below the level i had filled it to anyway no messing they had it in and it was a leaking hose. I had the rest of the day off after i had dropped the car in just after half past nine.
Just chilled out with Helen the rest of the day , the pillows and duvet came from Argos which was just left in the front garden down by the cellar window.
went to my night job which was a pain in the arse and got home just after eight thirty had a full English breakfast for supper.Looked at some more caravans on Ebay.

Ordered a new bed last night online from Argos its a double black cast iron bed frame to go with this we have also ordered a sprung pocket with memory foam topping mattress and four duck eiderdown pillows and a matching duvet quilt.

Helen bought whilst we was in living in the apartment bedding from Laura Ashely which cost well over two hundred pounds including pillow cases duvet cover sheets and throws and other pillows , the new bed will replace the one that we have now and we are using when we rented the house the same when we rented the apartment it will be nice to have a bed and mattress only slept on by us.

Helen sent me a eBay link for a two berth touring caravan starting bid six hundred pounds with a side awning this would be ideal and would be its worth in gold and we would get our moneys worth out of it visiting the great outdoors.

Went to Argos and bought a new parasol to replace the one that snapped during the storms and high wings a few months back hopefully we can still get a BBQ sorted out sometime in the coming few weeks that remain of summer

Yesterday was off work did not feel too good due lack of sleep felt full off tension and a headache i woke up at five in the morning which did not help any , i did not do anything all day i tried to watch a DVD and TV and couldn't do that without falling asleep , Helen cooked us tea and did some ironing mainly my work shirts she is a Angel bless her i love her more and more every day.
Today Helen had her hair recoloured and re styled how you improve on perfection i ask her she thinks i am mad i dropped her of at her mums before i went to work and she was going to the hairdressers from there. i told her to text me a photo of herself when she had finished at the salon.......it makes my day when she sends me photos of her self rather than just a plain text message , mobile phones do have there uses.

Went to see my solicitor regarding the divorce my wife wants to sell it to a firm that buys it of you for 80% - 85% of market value then rents it back to you i have no objection to this as long as i get the full 50% of 100% of the full market value in reality i don't think this is ideal or workable but my wife has 14 days to come up with the goods otherwise a different approach will have to be made.
working tonight until half past eight , i am back cleaning after a weeks break another reason i need money from the sale of the house i am sick of working and we have discussed maybe buying a three berth caravan for weekends and holidays away in Scotland and Somerset especially Cheddar and other coastal towns , we can have it store near the canal at Rodley close by to where we live for a yearly fee of a few pounds.

Saturday
i worked until half two Helen came down to work due to her sickness and to have a review meeting with the line manager Denise , and we left earlier than three 0 clock my finish time.
We went home and decided to chill out at home then go see the new Batman movie "Dark Knight" over at xscape at Castleford , We chilled out a bit too much fun as it was we eneded up running late and didn't get to go to the cinema until the 9.20p.m showing which was a lot later then we wanted to get there for , we enjoyed the film but i thought they had dragged it out a bit , by the time we had got out from the pictures it was well after 12,20am Sunday morning and well after one o clock when we got back in to Leeds we where both starving so we had a take away pizza i had calzone kebab and Helen a chicken calzone of Kirkstall road and it was well after two when we got to go to bed.
Sunday
Went to work didn't sleep in i felt like saying sod it i did get there on time and i finished at three , the day went pretty fast when i got home i just chilled out with Helen i hugged and kissed most of the afternoon and the night she is so kissable and tastes so sweet i just cant resist her , and it helps that i am totally and madly in love with her too.

Everyday Monday to Friday Helen use to come down here from her home on the bus and in to town without fail rain or shine hot or cold waether.

She did this so that she could meet me on the middle of this bridge for my dinner hour from work. She was seldom late and always happy to see me , i use to be giddy all morning knowing i was going to meet my true love , i was buzzing all afternoon because i got to kiss her lips and hold her hand and see her smile , Helen went home to her husband and i went home to my wife ,and i was happy on an night walking my dog with my i-pod on listening to snowpatrol and coldplay knowing that tomorrow i would see her again and that kept me going .

we use to go here to the Aire bar and i would get half a lager and lime and i would have a bottle of Magner's.

We would talk about the future and about us our relationship and about lone day living together and leaving our partners setting up house and living of fish finger butties our love for one another and music , we would sit out on the balcony so Helen could smoke and the hour use to fly bye .

Before we discovered the Aire bar we used to spend dinner times together here in this pub which was just a little bit further to walk and the decor a little bit more dated and it was more out of the way less chance of being spotted .The result was the same we was happy anywhere just to talk kiss and be together.

These early days where great fun i don't think we ever got spotted by anyone we knew , the days now are even better and still exciting and hopefully the days to come will be better still.

I,am more in love now than i was when i first meet Helen six years ago at work i did love her then but it was a forbidden love and i thought it was a no go situation.

I never realised i had a chance..... if i had any idea we could have had six extra years together we would have been in a different situation Helen wouldn't have been married i kissed her at her evening reception it was the only reason i went , and i would have had more financial security but everything for a reason i believe in fate and i believe in love but most of all i believe in HELEN , we are getting there we have a nice home and one day we will have a mortgage to buy our own little palace. Its nearly been one year since i meet Helen outside work and started seeing her this will be our second Christmas in a house instead of the apartment we will have a proper tree and lights and decorations i cant wait it be here sooner then we want it to be hopefully things will have moved on and things Will have been sorted out or near to get sorted out regarding the divorce and the sale of the house a new year will be around the corner and hopefully 2009 will be the start of a new era.

didn't go straight home after work had to kill a couple of hours till six o clock so i went to Castleford i dropped a work mate off home which wasted one hour so i then went to the canal at Rodley i parked up and walked down the canal bank to the railway pub for half a cider , the reason being Helen had her youngest son round at the house and her husband was picking him up so i stayed away a bit like oil and water we don't mix.
when i did go home i showered changed and the went with Helen to the Owl for tea had lasagne and Helen had the scampi called round to visit my nephew mark he was at the kerb saying by to his girlfriend Susan who was driving down to wales to see her parents , made plans to meet up Sunday

Last night we went over to country baskets Helen bought a black wrought iron three sided fire guard to stop Ellie putting her face in the fire , its gas with fake coals at the moment all she is doing is getting her face black because we don't have it fired up but come the colder weather it will be a different story we don't want a hot dog ,Helen also bought some silk roses in cream and pink and some kitchen place mates and some cream and black kitchen earthen wear a spoon rest and gravy bowl to go with the rest of the items we have already own.
Went to Murgatroyds for fish and chips , we was both starving we both had the Billy Murgatroyds special Helen with mushy peas mine with baked beans as always we left full up.
On the way back Helen showed me where she use to live in Farsley behind the CO - OP