Went to the solicitors to start divorce proceedings have mentioned that my wife can stay in the house until 2010 when my son is 18 years of age.

That when its sold i want half the profits that's in three years time if i don't loose my job my health or end up dead that will mean another three years wiped off the life off the mortgage so there is less to pay back to the building society and who knows how much house prices will have risen in that time.

Just know that its not going to be plain sailing i know she is going to kick off she wants to keep the house but some minor points wont allow her to , she does not earn enough money she works three hours per day paid employment Monday to Friday which is not enough to buy me out even if i didn't want any cash back she does not earn enough to take the mortgage on so they wont take my name off.

I work 7-30a.m until 16-00pm at my main job Monday to Friday then go to my second job at the Hospital from 17-00pm until 21-00pm Monday to Friday and thirdly i work at the Hospital 07-00am until 15-00 Saturday and Sunday which equates to 72 hours per week.

That's why i think i deserve my share there is things i need in my life security a car the wife kept the C2 and another house rented or mortgage its still to pay for, a holiday is a must not had one for going on four years , i have worked 7 days a week for eight years solid and its pay back time this is for me and i am asking for 50 - 50 split because i have put in 110% effort in over the 18 years of my marriage to get 50% return.

I am not bitter i, am not angry nor i am not unhappy , all i just want to is get on with my life doing the things i want to do, going out and visiting places when i want , to to eat drink what i want when i want to cook it , and bath shower and listen to music when i feel the need to , watch the things i want to on t.v and go to bed and get up when i need to and if i happen or get the urge and want to walk into town at 1-30am in the morning to get a kebab because i cant sleep and it kills a craving then i can.

Basically all i want is to have freedom of choice i imagine its like walking out from prison after serving 18 years and being over the moon to just be able to choose how you live your life even if its without life's luxury's or money not being told what to do not having demands made and orders barked at you , don't do this don't do that be home for this time no you cant go to pub no you cant go out with your mates for drinks after i finished work or even go for a curry on a the odd night in town with work mates.

Withdrawing £10 from the ATM then getting home and being quizzed on what i wanted a tenner for what i bought and wears the receipt and change.

I am now living life in my apartment the way i want to i have to spend carefully and try and save and carry on for the time being working the shifts and hours i do , but its buying the stuff i need me the things i want to carry on with my life two new cameras , DVD player, TV, hi-fi , clothes and shoes some other bits and pieces before i got quizzed when i bought some blank DVDs and Cd's from HMV.

I know i have A girlfriend and its less painful than being on your own i have a regular love life cuddles and kisses and someone to look after and for some one to look after me , to share things with go places with and talk about what has happened during the course of the day laugh and joke with be silly with , but at the end of the day i would be more happier on my own then in a loveless marriage that is going no where