FRIDAY - It is raining all day its grey and dull no sun the leaves are falling and it is getting colder and windier and I am back at work tonight but I don't care I am not in prison or in Hospital or worse still the mortuary so I am happy and grateful to be in the here and now. I have my van back food in the cupboards , freezer and fridge I am content it is my Birthday towards the end of the month and I have it better than my father had it not bragging or boosting but I think that he would agree and be proud that I have achieved what I have .Although saying that he did good and was a decent man and did himself better than his own Father that's how it is suppose to be each generation has a better quality of life
I wish my son would out do me on every level I would not be envious if he had himself a better house ,well paid job , a nice car and travelling the world but he hasn't . At one stage in his life he was doing ok and was well on his way .
He had a decent car and Suzuki motorbike with a well paid job that he liked and a girlfriend he loved they were holidaying in Greece and having a decent life .
That was until drugs took over his life including crack cocaine and heroin as a result of this he now has nothing and owns nothing apart from what he carries around with him in a backpack and plastic carrier bag.
He begs ,borrows and steals as well as taking from shops he also is paid benefits he receives extra because he is homeless he lives on the street.
He more than likely earns more money than I do but it all goes on the white powder that drives his addiction. If he is super lucky he has maybe eight years left which means he will be dead before he is forty , if not super lucky he could drop dead any time through freezing conditions , an overdose or a violence incident or medical .We tired to help him numerous times he does ok gets money and goes back to square one we honestly believe he prefers his world to anything normal its so sad .
I doubt that he will never have a son unless his life does a 360. My biggest failure in life is him perhaps in the end my father achieved more than I ever did .The picture below is My father, mother and twin sister and myself around circa 1961
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