Last night worked until 9 0 clock but it is starting to drag its too much time and i have everything done by eight o clockish , i dare not reduce my hours my as my main Monday to Friday job is a bit up and down at the moment and the threat of redundancy is at a all time high but this could take at least a year plus to sort out and there is always the redeployment option and if i did have to really on the Hospital job as my only source of income i will need all the hours i can get.

Finished work picked up H went to the pub went to the Palace near Leeds Parish Church then on to the Aire bar till throwing out time only had time for a couple of ciders but it broke the day up cant just work and sleep too much like being married.

Looking and seriously thinking of going with t-mobile for the mobile broadband option at £29.00 a month coverage is suppose to be good where i live if i need to job hunt and send emails i will need a Internet connection that's my reason any way and i am sticking to it.

I leave the apartment at @ 7-15 am i go back at 10-00am to see H, as i only live 2 Min's from where i work

I go back to work for 10-20 am i go back at 12-00 to see H and go back to work at 12-30 pm i finish at 16-00 pm and see H, i pick up my bag and uniform and leave at 4-25 pm for the Hospital until 21-00pm , i then get home for around 21-30 and see H , i text her up to 15 times a day , so why o why do i miss her so much for very second that i am away from her , i don't like it i feel insecure i think my bubble is going to burst and that i will be miserable forever more if she was to leave me to go back home for the sake of her kids for any other reason.

I prey to God she wont i and i don't expect for one second that she will or would ever leave me high and dry and i know she thinks the same about me what if i was to go back to my wife , or when i do meet up with my kids and they beg me to go back home .

I know she loves me as much or equal to how i love her, and i know she like me can not go back too much as happened too many changes which would come back to haunt her if she did or i did too many skeletons in the cupboard