MARK OF THE CROSS

We went for Sunday breakfast to the 11th Earl we had the full Monty but did not over do it  , Helen went back to bed when we got home and  i woke her up at two in the afternoon .

We went to a farm in Tong a few miles from our house that makes ice cream we had a three scoop chocolate cornet , banana , coconut and toffee flavors i had mine with a stick of fudge .Helen had double cream ,chocolate and vanilla with a flake the place was packed £7.40 for two cones there was a queue to served and the car park was packed they even do a apple pie and custard flavor .

After we went to Adel church that dates back to Norman times , and  we found out way the paving stones leading up to the chapel door and around the perimeter of the church have a cross cut and etched  in to their face the mark of the cross goes right the way through the slab , we was told  its to prevent them from being lifted and removed  by thieves to sell to reclamation yards even the ornate door handle was  taken a few years ago and an exact copy was  made , the original l had survived hundreds of years before bring removed .

HOW BRITISH

I received a email that the order for my car has now been accepted and it has the go ahead to be built i am guessing it will be around eight weeks before delivery i have ordered it in a pearl black finish.

The people buying our house have another mortgage in place and a surveyor is coming round Wednesday for the buyers new mortgage lender to agree the loan.

I have no work until Wednesday hopefully the time wont go that quickly , this morning i went down to the canal with Pip and in the afternoon we went to the Empire fish restaurant in Outwood not as good as a Billy Murgatroy's but they was pretty good .

later went to buy a ready cooked chicken and four bottles of pear cider two tins of Pimm's for Helen , some freshly baked  baguettes and a  bottle of sweet chili sauce i also bought a paper back book Child of vengeance by David Kirk about a samurai warrior in 16th century Japan , and Arnold's Schwarzenegger biography it is now out in paper back although i do have it as a Epub book i thought i have it in a hard copy first books i have bought in a long time i also bought some fresh strawberries and two melons and a tub of Cornish vanilla ice cream.

Glastonbury festival is on so is Wimbledon tennis how British , we have even had some sun today brilliant well for some of the day.

DESTINATION THE SAME

Well it is coming up to pay day which is midnight tonight and i have booked  Monday and Tuesday off annual leave so it is going to be a long weekend.
Hopefully we will go to the Brazilian restaurant for skewers of meat and ice cold beers on the Monday afternoon , need to buy a few goodies too.

The people buying our house have had to change mortgage lenders so it has slowed down the sale it is still going ahead and another survey needs to be done so fingers crossed we will have our sale buy the end of next month , even if we had another buyer to go it would still be the same length of time so we just have to play ball and hang in there , i always said it would be August might be the end of July which i guess is the same difference we are getting to where we ant to be a  step at a time rather than in leaps but the destination remains the same .

Watching - Da Vinci's demons this is an absolute brilliant series every episode i have watched as been as good as the last .
Also watching Hannibal this is just as good have to start  watch Graceland .

Reading - still with Arnold's Schwarzenegger Total Recall pick it up its a entertaining read.

Listening to Stone Roses . Sterophonics , and The Fray.

Wanting - another Google Nexus 7 .

Waiting for - Selling the  house and get out of here asp .

Hoping for - Hot days blue skies ice cold pear cider in a country pub .

GOOD ADVICE

Helen had a thirty something male turn up for a reading , his wife had been previously months earlier and had her reading done recorded on a mp3 player than burned to disc like everyone else does no one has ever refused this service .
 on the sleeve of the cd cover  is a sticker with Helen's details on her web address and mobile phone number .
He had found the cd and had played it , on the disc his wife is asking Helen's advice about starting an affair with another man she knew with the view of eventually leaving her husband.
Helen had told her not to do it she felt her husband truly madly deeply loved her was her soul mate his love was unequalled and came from the heart and soul  , and this new man she was thinking of seeing with a view to starting an illicit affair Helen said that she felt that this new man  was a no hoper and a major user and a chancer that  he would never commit to her  and did not love her one bit ,  and that spirit was telling her to say that she was not to do it that she had to stay with her husband .

 She told the lady she felt she should make a effort with her husband go out and date again ,to  hold hands and  go to the pictures do things they use to do get drunk have sex in the afternoon and  re kindle old passions and remember what first attracted them to each other. and  basically to put the effort in to having an a new affair with her husband  she married to meet him after work get a hotel room  or phone in sick at work and spend the day together etc etc and that it would all come good .

Well the woman and  lady in question must have took Helen's advice to the letter  and did just that .

After the listening to the cd the man made an appointment mainly to meet Helen and to thank her for saving his marriage and  they where both back  on track and where madly in love again and they were happier than they had been in a long time and both of them committed to making their marriage work , the man felt he  had to see Helena because he felt he owed her and it is always nice to put a face to a voice on a cd recording and it was down to her that his marriage was saved and they both realised you got to work sometimes to keep what you have , you have to remember the first dates YOU HAD TOGETHER and  the butterflies and racing heart beats and you must keep love alive because if you don't feed it regular it can starve it's self to nothing fade away and die.

FISH BUT NOT FOR TEA

Helen had a reading last night that lasted nearly three hours two women turned up totally unexpected it was only suppose to be one person only , so i had to go upstairs with my laptop and Pip our dog  i ended up falling asleep as i was on our bed with our dog Pip , i had a weird dream i woke up by the time i went down stairs i had forgotten it , it was gone in a instance don't you just hate it when that happens , anyway fifty pounds is fifty pounds and we need money

Sunday night deja vu another one person booked in two turned up so i had to go to the bed room again with Pip our dog and the laptop another fifty pounds earned ., we had a joint of gammon cooking and a chicken cooking whilst they where having the readings done  we are having it with honey roasted parsnips sprouts and peas gravy and mash .

I want my tattoo doing not sure if i can afford the first booking this month i have the car to tax which is £153 for the next six months and i want to take Helen and  go to Fazenda to pig out on meat skewers and beer so might have to wait a month as they say the best things are worth waiting for i can wait and i am patient .
Also looked at some cameras and laptops and at the pet shop we viewed some  fish tanks and accessories i want a wrecked helicopter to put inside the aquarium or a aeroplane but only if it is a German plane they sell British and American war planes which is a bit macabre if you are British born and breed , We really like  marine fish but  i guess we would end up getting  cold water goldfish instead mainly because they are easy to keep and easier if we move if we get a big enough tank will get some plants and rocks as well.

Tumblr picture above  reminds me of R.E.M ,  Man on the moon or a plane at the bottom of my fish tank

WET SATURDAY

It is Saturday my favorite day of the week by far and Helen is going to get her nails done in Sheffield with her friend Jess and i am going to chill out on the settee and watch a couple of films or i might just stay on my laptop and surf , as  the skies are dark and very grey and it looks like it is going to pour down with rain any time soon  .

So before that happens i am going to go out and get some milk a ready made curry and a cheesecake i have nan bread already so at least my dinner is sorted.

I have also a new tv series to start to watch "Graceland" the trailers look ok so i have the first three episodes to watch along with "The Purge" and "Dead man down" and the last three episodes of Hannibal so bored i wont  be.

I am going to start to post a picture from Tumblr i trail through Tumblr when i am board and look for photos that appeal to me they can vary wildly so i was thinking to post a favorite one each time i blog starting form this post . so below is a photo that appeals to me this motorway or freeway its just a great shot i don't know if this has been photo shopped or not but its still a good photo it reminds me of a roller coaster , there is a similar road coming back from  Trafford centre but it is not as long

CHANGE IT

Took Helen to the doctor's this morning at half past nine they are referring her for a heart scan ecg mainly because her heart beat stops and she has a murmur so as a precautionary measure they are getting her checked out.

Moving to the country side might beneficial for our health Helen is still not using the electronic cigarette i bought her which is a bit annoying well it is a lot annoying specially as it would improve her health the best thing i think she can do for her health is to stop smoking , but thing is i don't preach and i do go and buy her cigs when she asks me perhaps it is me who should say no.

Helen as a few readings booked , one today two tomorrow and one on Saturday and another one on Sunday as i don't get paid until next Thursday it is a good job.

James Gandolfini as died age 51 he had  a massive heart attack whilst holidaying in Italy ,  he is the actor that  played Tony Soprano in the t,v series The Soprano's , his son looks like he is going the same way hope he takes heed and alters his life style.

Saying that i am not Mr Fit myself and i need to alter the way i live hopefully next few weeks this will change  when we get out of the city and live in a village so close to the moors where walking and hiking become a daily pursuit and maybe bike riding .

TATTS

Went to black crown tattoo shop near were i work to ask about a cover up covering a cover up on the top of my right arm he reckons it can be done might cost in the region of £320 eighty pound a hour is his  charges the artist name is Fil Wood.
He as suggested a koi carp with water and japanese flora as i have already got various oriental dragons this would tie in and look pretty good he reckons i will need a quarter sleeve doing to make sure the size and proportions are correct to cover the existing tattoo up ,  all i have to decide is when .

Work is hot and boring the office is airless no windows no air conditioning no natural light it is getting depressing it is not fit for purpose it is a sweat box and with all the rooms in the hospital why we are in this holding cell is beyond me we are next door to a skip hold that all the clinical and pharmecutical and offensious waste we are like rats in the sewer.

The people buying our house have had a hiccup with their mortgage as he works two jobs and one is self employed , which they wont or have not took in to account which in turn as affected how much they building society or bank will lend them they are having to sort it out which will take a few days more.

Listening to - Hall & Oates Greatest Hits.

Watching - Fast & Furious 6.

Cooking - Mexican Burgers.

I DONT LIKE MONDAYS

Still using my i-phone to tether to the Internet it is achieving excellent download speeds and so far i am not missing a proper Internet connection , it makes me wonder if i ever want to go back paying for a service that  i access through using my phone , at the end of the day its one bill less to pay and when we eventually move out of here we need to save money where ever possible .

We still have not had a completion date and it is starting to piss me off we need to know how far the light is at the end of the tunnel , we seem to be trading water and we are starting to get cramp why do the power's that be take so fcuking long we are selling a house , i need to call the solicitor and get answers if we don't get any mail today letting us know.

The car i will give them another two weeks before i start getting on their case , as i have been told it takes a while up to three months in some instances  because my employment contract has to be altered  to reflect the cost of the car , another thing i could do with getting sorted sooner rather than later.

Not sure why but i cant be arsed going to work , as the Boomtown Rats said "I don't like Mondays" of course  i will do but i feel like i want to stay at home and do nothing but chill read drink coffee and watch films , might have to book some time off but then again i might as well wait until the house is sold .

Defo going to start to do better things like go to the movies eat out more and go to the pub more even if its only for one drink or a pint , i do not want to do the same routine that we do know also i want a mountain bike and a camera hopefully i can sell prints online and make some extra cash or do village fetes and fairs or car boots , need an alternative income .

Helen is still doing readings she has quite a few booked in this week she has also teaching two people and is learning to do past life regression which is very interesting , once we move it will mean building a new client list up or doing readings via Skpe or the phone which means setting a pay now icon on her web site , she will also have to have new business cards done and update her website .http://www.serenityeternal.co.uk/Home.html for all you none believers read her guest book every one is genuine post nothing added or taken out.

Watching on T.V - Da Vinci's Demons and Hannibal

Watching Film's - The Call ,  Staring Halle berry.

Wanting - To get out of here.

Dreaming of - New beginning's

AS MUCH HAS

We drove around to day and covered quite a lot of the areas surrounding Leeds Branham , Bramhope ,Sherburn , and Aberford,

 Also in the opposite direction and in areas closer to Wakefield , yet found nothing to compare with Holfmfirth nowhere else is suited to our needs , so i guess  i am just going to have to put up with the commute to and from work and the cost of petrol .

I want to get a place a new home and get moved in and out of here i just want to get packed and unpacked at the other end .

I want to go shopping and buy stuff that we will need for our new abode i am looking forward to getting settled in and buying new stuff  we will need all new white appliances for a kick off , i want a panini press and a computer desk maybe i want to try and find a dvd player that will play mp4 files via usb drive .

We went for a stroll down to the canal at Leeds city centre will have to spend a afternoon there dining and drinking we want to go to a Brazilian restaurant that serves you meat after meat you have a card one side it is red and one is green when you show the red side it means enough and the waiters stop bringing the food when you turn it to green they start again , sounds good to me.

Too much meat to pick from chicken,lamb, pork and different cuts of steaks apparently if you are vegetarian you get a discount .
Their is as much salad as you can eat as well , and as much beer as you can drink the catch is the beer you have to pay for preferably before you fall over or pass out.

We are having lamb chops we have eight between us and a pan full off boiled new potatoes for supper .

IN THE MEANTIME

I have made two  Tuna and mayo sandwiches for myself  with spring onion and black pepper one in wholemeal and one in white , Helen is doing her egg mayo i am feed up with egg mayo well for a while anyway.

And the camera is fully charged i am using my Fuji fine pix F20 it looks like it is going to rain but what the heck.

We went to a few letting agents and got a few print outs of different lets and also a few houses  to buy a really nice house for £137k we would not get a mortgage on a house at this price but if we could i would have signed up for it today http://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/29166937 it be perfect in the mean time we hope we can get a similar house to rent.

Holmfirth Church and Sid's cafe 

JUICE AND PAPERS

Well it is Friday night it is pissing down just had tea and its twenty past eleven and it is nearly the weekend .
Looking at houses both to buy and to rent , you can get a great house for £125k stone built nice kitchen with nice gardens and quite a bit of character.Who knows at the moment it is a guessing game and we cant do much to alter this until we get a completion date.

I think tomorrow if it is raining it will be chill out day might get food in for breakfast we have films to watch might be a morning of coffee fresh orange juice and news papers to read and just chill out all day .

BACK ON DAYS

Working until two in the morning starting at two in the afternoon was suppose to do this all week last night was the last one i go back on to my normal shift of 14.00 - 22.00  today .

Still waiting for a completion date hopefully this week , and still waiting for confirmation for a delivery date on the Nissan Juke , Once we get a completion date we can start looking at rented properties where we want to live in Holmfirth.

So it is all just the same for the time being , we have boxes ready to pack and not much else i would not mind a completion date for end of July , just because it gives us more time , still when ever it is the day we move will be here before we know it and new beginnings will start hopefully without any major hiccups once we have a house we can start to put our life's back together , things is we are going to do it on a budget we will need a new cooker a  washer and  dryer and a fridge freezer and seating for the living room .
 After that the rest is decoration , we have all our bedroom furniture we need we might get under bed storage containers but the more spare space we have , it is obvious we will fill it which does not help if we plan on moving every so often , unless we get the right house to start with .

SUNNY SUNDAY SHOPPING

Went to Trafford centre at Manchester in the car we listened to the Stone Roses  and Oasis's two famous bands from Manchester , that was after we had been to the 11th Earl for full English  breakfast.

I bought a Fat Face t-shirt for £22.00 in white that says "Summer Life is Out There " , then went to over to The Pen Shop and bought some black bought a couple of months ago and that i use every day at work , black ink never fades that is why it is used for documentation like remembrance books signing the register when you get married death and birth records at local town halls and churches etc the writing you leave behind will be around forever nice.

At The Pen Shop i thought they had free magazine as it they was out side the shop on a stand , it is called Art pens and  Culture , so  i took one and put it in my carrier bag , taht i was carrying my t-shirt in. It was only when i got it home that i noticed it in fact was to buy and it retailed at  £5.95 , oops sorry .

I bought a ice cold strawberry Frappuccinno with cream venti  from Starbuck's to take out in to the sun whilst Helen had a couple of Proper cigarettes which  have now gone up to £7.11p a packet and that's getting them cheap .

We did stop in Leeds City centre on the way back Helen bought two summer jersey dresses that a shop did not have in her size in Manchester , parking once i am commuting from Holmfirth will be £3.00 a day , with a ten minute walk to the Hospital where i work which i would do in my break , after six it is free parking .

The weather as been good now for a full  week with blue skies and  hot days with  no or little cloud and a light breeze just to take the edge of  so fingers crossed it lasts it has not been that hot it disturbs my sleep that i cant get to sleep or that its too warm i cant go to sleep .


Watched -  "Bullet To The Head ".

To Watch - I Give It A Year ,  Great British Comedy

Listening to - Stone Roses and Oasis's

Yet to play -  "40 Years of Pacha " .

Wanting - Hermes aftershave , sampled it today it is good and it lasts.

Needing - Completion date for sale of house

INKED

Might go out today and buy something nice for myself not sure what just think i need a treat like a couple of glossy magazines some aftershave a new razor or a couple of autobiography's i want to read i have books on my google but i just might by paperback versions instead there is still a place for wet razor rather than electric or a film camera rather than digital camera nostalgia is a good thing sometimes .

I do need new underpants ,  i bought ten new pairs of socks this week and i am debating whether or not to get some sun glasses mainly because i look a twat in shades , shades and hats don't seem to suit me i could never wear a baseball hat or a bennie hat i just look the worlds biggest twat , i don't know what it is everyone else seems to get away with it , i do not yet i screw my eyes up when it is sunny and i could do with them when i am driving as i am constantly adjusting the sun visor in the car whilst driving.

Picture below is of Helen's youngest son Liam he had his first tattoo today he is in to music DJ,ing and mixing tracks he wants to work in a city night club ,  he wanted a tattoo to reflect his passion for music as far as i am aware someone he knows did it in his house i think all he paid was  forty pounds which seems reasonable.

DOING NOTHING MUCH

Love it when you go late night shopping and at the shelf service check outs you find twenty pounds on the floor and no one to claim it , well it will fuel the car for our trips out Saturday and Sunday.

Just had a lamb currie with garlic nan and onion bhaji not a  ideal time one in the morning but one has to eat when one can.

Had my haircut today by a local barber on Town Street near to where we live i have never been there before and don't know anyone who has , it was cut considerably good and will go back there but then again if we are moving house guess i will neither have to get it cut on the weekend or find a local hairdresser that are as good.

Helen did have two proper cigs today but still that's good if she can manage to stay with the e-cig i think she will quit smoking real cigs for good but i think it will take her time before she completely finishes with proper cigarettes .

Helen went to get her hair dyed blonde and also ended up getting a spray tan blonde and tan goes together as do faded jeans and a white t-shirt.

Whilst she was in the hairdressers i went to my favorite computer shop up Tong a few miles away i bumped in to a lad i use to see in the bars around Leeds 30 years ago  i saw him a few months ago and bumped in to him again today strange twice in a year as it happens he was buying a spare computer part his friend repairs pc will have to take him my Shuttle to sort out i quite like this if mine was unrepairable i think i would buy this machine  http://www.cclonline.com/product/108653/NoMfgCode/All-CCL-Desktops/CCL-Elite-Swallow-Mini-Gaming-PC/CCL-EL-SWA/ along with this monitor i like it because the screen starts and finishes more or less at the edge http://www.cclonline.com/product/99193/I2757FH/Monitors/AOC-Style-i2757Fh-27-inch-LED-Monitor/MON1261/  and these speakers http://www.cclonline.com/product/53821/CA-SP211UK/PC-Speakers/Corsair-SP2500-Gaming-2-1-Speaker-System/SPK1273/ if i got this i would buy a cheaper laptop then what i am thinking of at the moment i do prefer a desk top to a laptop but need the accessibility and functionalities of a laptop,

SLOW

Helen as smoked one real cigarette today 1st time in years this will have happened certainly never in the time i have been with her which must be six years as it ever happened once even  the times when she has been ill., she is grumpy though .

I was asked to work through the night saturday from six p.m until Sunday 6 a.m i turned it down as  i have  done over fifty hours this week already it would just fuck the weekend up specially as it's been hot all week and hopefully so is the weekend .

Still heard nothing from our lawyers that we are selling our house through guessing it cant be any longer than another six weeks until we exchange contracts and money is paid .

Doing twelve hour shifts as totally knackered me  and made the week go really slow i keep thinking it is Saturday and its only Friday , i just want to sleep my eyes are heavy and i cant get the picture of our big comfy bed out of my head.

Watching -  nothing

Craving - sleep

Wanting - sunny weekend

VIP

I have bought Helen a vip electronic cigarette and five 24mg nicotine capsules which is the equivalent of 200 cigs which cost only  £5.00 ,  200 cigs in the U.K would cost a whooping £70 so a big saving of £65 , plus no poisonous  tar is entering your blood stream you still get a hit or fix , loads of people at work are using these type or different versions all are saying they would not be going back to normal cigs , and all have said their breathing as improved and fitness levels and none of them  have put any weight on so all in all they are happy they made the switch.

DATES

Just been shopping bought some lamb shanks for tea tonight and some fish for other nights also i bought some Mexican burgers and Indian lamb burgers great with spicy wedges with  grated cheese a quick meal all done in the oven.

It is just me and Helen now both her sons have moved out , the house is more quite and the only noise is form us , we can go to bed when we want and it is more relaxed , once we move to Holmfirth in the next few weeks it was always just going to be Helen and I.

Still HAVE not got a completion date for moving out and still not had confirmation about the Nissan Juke that's another date i need

WEEKEND GONE AGAIN

Had a breakfast sub this morning they have started using flat bread now had bacon sausage and egg with double cheese and a latte for the princely sum of  £2.50 cant complain you can usually get a coffee for that price .
Last night we went to the local fish shop and got a fish in a bread cake with scraps and a large curry sauce and two tins of ice cold coke , not the most of healthiest diets i know .

After our  Subway visit we went to Ikea bought a new rug curtains and curtain poles along with a shaving mirror toilet brush wall clock paper lantern shades two look like a white paper bag they was five pound each they are just paper and wire , this was for her son we also got him tooth past shampoo body wash deodorant spray and enough food to last him five days , seeing he as no fridge we have to be careful what we buy or it is just going to go off , Helen also took him down a load of washing he had left here as well as more duvet covers and pillow cases.

Helen had a telephone reading from Deborah Chamlers whom we went to see in Richmond and York whilst she was getting her reading it went on for well over a hour ,  i went to the supermarket and bought ice cream , apple and strawberry pie along with a freshly roasted chicken and freshly baked bread and two freshly hand made in store pizzas that us sorted.

Cant wait until we are buying new things for our little house or cottage in Holmfirth it is nice getting sorted in a new place and refitting out each room it is amazing what a few rugs and lampshades do to a room and it's overall appearance and it does not have to cost loads to achieve , unlike weekends furnishings are replaceable

What i desire :-
Panini press
Cafeteria
Stainless steel desk lamp
Corner settee

Watching - Orphan Black

STAMP YOUR MARK

I moved Helen's son out today after we had been for breakfast , we also bought him a brand new microwave and a brand new deep fat fryer and a swing bin for his kitchen .we have also given him our sandwich toaster and our George Foreman grill .

It is a bit like the wild life rescue programme where they have reared a orphaned young animal and are letting it venture back in to the wild , you know you can only do so much then it is down to survival instinct and hopefully the will to survive kicks in , well it is down to him now.

We have also given to him two settees , two decent tv's one is a Samsung 38 inch which was donated by his younger half brother Liam , along with two cast iron beds with mattresses , two tv stands soft furnishings like towels bedding quilts duvets and rugs , plus three lamps with shades and a bedside cabinet , plates and cooking utensils even a hand blender a cheese grater a tin opener and potato peeler .

When i got my first place i bought six set of drawers to go down one side of my bedroom wall under the eaves and  i had a mattress on the floor , no i am not Japanese ,  and my stereo system including a  tape deck amp and tuner along with four speakers which resided on top of the drawers  , a red neon alarm clock and a few plants and posters.

 The  the living room i had a leather settee two custom made wrought iron and mesh  trolleys that where powdered coated black which i used for my tv and video player and ghetto blaster there was no such things as dvd or blue ray player and a laminated pine wall unit that filled most of the back wall and that was it ,on the stairs i had  cork tiles glued on to the treads because i could not afford a stair carpet and rods .

 In the kitchen i did have a brand new electrical cooker and a fridge with a decent ice box compartment .I had beaded curtains up in door ways and wicker roller blinds on the windows as soon as you personalise something it becomes you and you take more of a interest plus you look at different art and different sculptures lamps mirrors anything to make it individual and not main stream something to catch someones eye you try and stamp your mark .

 Plus i had a pure black tom cat called Buster mainly for company he ate all the spiders , and use to sit on top of open doors and jump on you when you passed , scary stuff specially late at night when it was dark. .
Outside i had parked  a one year old Ford Escort with a very decent cassette deck , extra shelf and door speakers and graphic equalizer , but  most of all i had a job and i earned decent money a few months later i had a girl move in me who also earned good money , it is always easier with two specially  if you are both pulling in the same direction.

In the next few weeks we will be out shopping buying new stuff we need for our place this will be different to what we have now we will buy less but buy quality goods that will hopefully last and age with out dropping to bits thing is i cant wait bring it on i am excited and ecstatic i want to change and life differently new beginning's i did not get that impression from her son today he is going to be boring and cant be arsed attitude well if you cant doggy paddle your going to slowly sink or if you really cant be like throwing a  stone in a lake you will sink fast.