Helen is upset again her twelve old son has been crying and asking her to go back , she text me which i hate and told me she was confused and upset and although she does love me she is unsure what to do regarding going back home.
she text she would talk to me tonight and sort it out after i finished work at nine o clock which was thirteen hours away and that she wouldn't do anything in haste but how can i carry on working and wait that long not knowing .

So i left work and returned to the house to see her face to face i told her that i did understand it is not easy
we cried and hugged and kissed , and i asked her if she truly loved me she said yes that she did..... i then said if you do then you cant leave me and we have to work it out , we have a spare bedroom if her son wants to , or she needs him close buy he can sleep over we live a few miles from where she used to live its a ten minute drive i don't think her going back home for the sake of her son is a solution and will make her life any more happier.

Deep down i feel for her and i do understand her pain and anguish , i have children too but one day they will all grow up and flee the nest... where then will that leave her..............if she goes back home what then do we still see each other , keep in contact or sever all ties with each other. If that was the case it be easier for me if she was dead i cant accept anything else , i could and would have to accept that and get on with my life as sad as it would be but to leave me when i know she loves me i would never get my head round .............crazy i know but i love this woman so much it hurts i feel my heart is being split in two and torn apart ......... but then her leaving me and moving out and her going back home when she says she loves me and that she will always love me and she is crying real tears whilst saying this, i will never get over ......... and i would always think that there was a chance we would get back together and i would have no choice but to wait , with Helen gone my life would change once again forever it would have very little or no meaning wot so ever .......................