Writing this at work , and i,am already on my third cup of coffee . Just can't get motivated seeing that I finish next Friday for good thanks to redundancy , be no more walks down the canal into to town cutting through Clarence dock will miss crossing the bridge that I use to meet Helen on so much water has flown under it so much has changed so much continues to change on a daily basis.

My nephew flys to the United States today for a 3 week vacation , he left with 55k for his redundancy payout I get 40k less and be lucky to get a long weekend in Southport life so unfair.

Need to change need to on the ball go for gold get a job change the way I live need to sell the house and decide a new path to walk down , twenty years service what do I buy myself to commemorate this should I buy myself anything , I think I should with in reason need cheering up some how.

Once I am not working until I gain employment will have to follow a routine of getting up and getting out cycling in to the city to look for work and visit the job centre , agencies and other outlets. Will rejoin the library and see what other organisations can help me with looking for work and gain employment .

Will spend less look for bargains eat cheaply clothe my self of eBay or Primark or from ongoing sales everywhere seems to be sale time can get some real bargains.specially now I will have the time to shop no buying on impulse be a case of buy one get one free or what ever is on offer , no more take sways which might not be a bad thing .
No more luxuries , Helen can give up smoking , I won't give up Internet I will pay the bill for at least a year up front . Along with car insurance and the road tax, i will get the beast mot'd and serviced and anything else needed to keep her on the road , might have to tow a caravan if things go pear shaped or sleep in it if things get that bad, it has happened have read people's blogs about people livig in their cars in times of economic gloom.
must buy a couple of bikes and a bike rack a tent some camping beds or air beds and of course sleeping bags .

if I was a writer I write more books if I was a artist do more paintings , photographer more photos , a singer another album a actor another film or play but being just me it's going to be a case if I am lucky of doing or getting any job no matter how bland and boring , it's ok doing these jobs and I am not proud but you need a exciting life away from work to compensate or balance it out which wouldn't be the case , or to do it travelling .