Woke up this morning at five o clock we didn't go to bed till half past twelve we did the Ouija board and got quite a few questions answered some more surprising than others , but time will tell if the spirits speak the truth , my dead cousin Paul answered some questions he died aged 42 through drink due to a relationship breaking up and him never getting over the girl he loved R.I.P Paul , and Helen's grandma Lilly came through and spoke through the board my mother was there also she is with me most of the time.

I would like to thank Helen for this morning after i had woken her up at five am because i love her , and find her totally irresistible she shouldn't sleep in a g - string and throw the duvet off herself then talk in her sleep so i wake up and notice her lying there.

I set of for work just before seven went to the apartment replaced the light bulb that had blown in the bathroom and left a spare one just in case and generally cleaned round with a damp cloth we have not lived there for three months went back once with Helen to for old times sake and to fool around on the sofa and living room floor like we use to do when we both resided there.


They did the check on the apartment with me present at twelve o clock and i signed to say the following items was missing
1 x metal corkscrew
1 x pint glass
1 x Pyrex dish and lid
1 x towel
1 x scissors

broken 1 x glass tumbler
wants a light to moderate clean and the bed lining needs ironing
I handed the keys in so officially i am no longer responsible for the apartment at Clarence dock.

Got home last night just after half eight Helen had returned from her parents and had slow cooked beef stew with dumplings and Yorkshire puddings yum yum which was on the table ready for when i got through the door followed by rice pudding with strawberry jam.

Helen does tarot cards and Ouija board and has been talking to and seeing dead people for years she is psychic and from an early age she attracted psychic happenings and saw spirits of dead people from by gone times in all of the places she lived in . we do have quite a few spirits residing where we live i occasionally see shadows and orbs of light but nothing on the scale Helen does.

When she does the Ouija board in the past she has used pieces of paper with the letters written on each one and placed in to a circle to form all of the alphabet this one was drawn on to a piece of 1200x600 sheet of hardboard using a black permanent marker pen we plan on using it this weekend .
Helen was in pain this morning her tooth was aching she went to the bathroom to put some oil of clove on it i made her some toast and tea i don't think it will go with the taste of clove oil , she will have to sort out an appointment with her dentist asp the course of antibiotics have been completed and the abscess is still present .
went to my solicitor my wife is defending the petition i have made divorcing her (THIS IS A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME AND SERVES NO PURPOSE) and that's shouting , this is made me change options and the way i have been dealing with it, on the advice from my solicitor we are now going to go to court to sell the house ,and i am only going to pay her the amount that i have to at the moment my x-wife she works only three hours a day 5.00pm until 8.00pm so its up to her to increase her hours or get another job to fund the life style she wants to live instead of having me as a meal ticket for the rest of her life , if my son wants to live with us he is more than welcome what my x as to realise is she doesn't have to live in that house , she is seeing someone so she as options open to her.

Helen's husband also went round to see Helen as he is starting Divorce proceedings against her i do have a feeling that hers might be completed before mine , ideally be nice for both of us to get free on the same day

Helen got a sick note from her doctors for four weeks she must take it easy and chill out and above all rest.She wont listen to me and i cant monitor what she does when i am not there i will willing do anything i can to make life easy for her.

Our house is clean and relatively dust free we dont live like slobs we have a dishwasher which i can use , a washing machine i can fill with powder and conditioner and use , and a clothes dryer i didnt even read the manual got to admit i am not brilliant with a iron but willing to learn t-shirts and hankies atm no problem , i can use a cooker to burn stuff and vacum i can operate safely on my own thats 240 volts of raw power in safe hands , so Helen when you read this take a chill out pill and get chilled girl ok TAKE IT EASY.I can do it all.......................

Before i left for work this morning i took her some toast up and a cup of tea , she has her tea made with two tea bags and two sugars and she likes toast put in the fridge to cool down with cold butter on it.

I went back to the apartment at dinner time one of the light bulbs in the bathroom as burnt out. i will have to replace it or I get charged why when its normal wear and tear and could go at anytime i don't know but replace it i will.I want as much as possible returning from the £525 deposit i paid as a bond when i took the lease out last December..........watch this space for the final figure.

It is common for us to text each other through out the course of the day , as i leave the house at seven in the morning and its around nine at night before i return , its a good way to keep up to date with each other whats happening and going on in general or in Helen's case its usually to pick up some fags on the way home o/j babe ...... this afternoon i received a photo message from Helen containing a photo of herself that she must just have took and texted it to my phone i have to say it blew me away and made a shitty day all of a sudden special i really do know a Angel.

I didn't want to go to my day time job today i would have liked to have spent another day or two looking after Helen she is still not 100% well and i don't want her fainting collapsing or passing out when she is on her own............. she is going to be with her cousin from nine o clock this morning then is going back to her parents house until later.

Helen has made an appointment at her Doctors for today at four thirty and hopefully he will give her tablets or medicine to help her out or even just to reassure that there is nothing major wrong other than tiredness and stress over what has happened over the last weeks we both go to bed to late and don't get quality sleep we need to start getting eight hours a night , we said we was going to bed at ten o clock last night and it was nearly 11.45pm when we finally got in to bed.

The Apartment is now fully paid off and all of the rent which was owing is now paid in full which was for three whole months at a grand total of £1575 , got a letter from LS1 to do the check out inspection at twelve noon this Friday this will then release the bond i paid which should be for £525 bet they get this figure down some how once this is sorted out its bye bye Clarence dock and city living for good.

I took A bowl of Rice Krispies up to Helen after finishing them , she came downstairs to the kitchen in agony and nearly on the verge of tears from the pain being caused from her abscess .
finally it subsided and she went back to bed .
Just after dinner her Friend from Sharon who lives out at Flockton came to see her after she left went out to Millhouse pine and Garforth cliff garden centre , bought some oil of clove to see if it eased the pain from her tooth abscess i then dropped Helen of at her parents house , i then had to go to work finished on time and picked Helen up and we bought fish and chips for tea on the way back to Rodley.

we got to work this morning at seven by five past Helen had collapsed and ended up shaking on the hospital floor , a porter and nurse was called for and we ended up going o A&E ,once there they tested her blood sugar levels , did a heart scan using a ECG machine , took two lots blood samples from her arm ............she hates needles and took her blood pressure both laying down and stood up.

Everything came back normal nothing nothing scary showed up and after a few hours we was allowed to go home on the recommendation she rested and went to bed and did nothing all day and if she felt ill or had another attack we was to go Right back.

Its the first time i have seen someone i love so much collapsed on the floor it was a scary moment and i hope i am always there when she needs me , hopefully this wont happen ever again , the doctor put it down to a panic attack brought on bu recent events , i will look after her and have Monday off after a phone call to my line manager to OK it , it wont have been twenty four hours and i need to be there to make sure she is OK when she wakes up and throughout the rest of the day.

We have decided we need to go to bed earlier than we do eat regular and chill out more eat more fruit and veg and get more fresh air instead of being in doors also try and drink less caffeine life is too busy and hectic and i have to admit its all a haze some days.

Got two phone calls after six o clock wishing me happy fathers day from my Daugther and Son better late than never.

The picture included in this post is Helen's latest art work using coloured chalk on black board love her pics.

Friday
went to the breast clinic with Helen the doctor was three quarters of an hour late when we finally got to see him his diagnosis was that everything was ok and it was all down to hormonal change and nothing to do with the big c , he recommend her taking evening primrose oil vitamin B and vitamin E26 taking these will take time to kick in but should improve her condition .
both of us bought some combats whilst we was in town buying the vitamins and visited Gregg's for pasties and custard doughnuts .
Set of to go to work at the hospital just after four and the car wouldn't start it was totally dead no power lights no electric to any part of the car tried tightening the battery no joy had no option but to join Green flag they came out within half an hour turned the key and it started found out it was one of the battery cables not on properly so now i am a member of Green flag with home start got to work at six o clock

Saturday
went to work Helen at hone catching up on some sleep i finished at one o clock as i always do when Helen does not go in to work we went shopping to Asda to get some frozen veg meat and dog food with other essentials like cider and chocolate biscuits .
in the evening Helen was in agony from her tooth took her to an emergency clinic she as a abscess so we got a prescription for some amoxcillian bought from Boots the only late night chemist open they are at the railway station in Leeds city centre that stays open after 11.00pm at night also got her some over the counter ibuprofen and some paracetamol ,we went to bed after midnight after Helen had took all her vitamins and painkillers

Helen's son had his operation i finished work and got home early saw Helen for ten minutes she been home to get some sleep and was going back to the hospital to be with her son she stayed the night again hopefully he comes out today if it all goes OK.
Had a tin of beef curry and later on had a call from Helen she sounded in good spirits i just wish i could be next to her and be comforting in her as i know its a stressful time for her .

I have got today and tomorrow of but working my hospital shift from five till nine looking after Penny who no doubt has been missing her mum and the scrambled eggs she gets cooked for her breakfast each morning by Helen
Thursday night Helen's son came out of hospital and when i got home from my shift she was already at home to say i was happy to see her was an understatement.

Last night whilst i was working got a text saying Helen was on the way to Hospital with her son he had hurt his leg and they where going down to casualty to get him sorted out and that i was to go home and she would contact me later.

At 3.30am i got a call saying they was trying to find him a bed and she was staying with him , her phone has been cut off because she has forgotten to pay her bill , she was on a pay phone she has few cigs and nothing else with her , not sure what the diagnosis is until i can speak to Helen today.

Found out that her son had wounded his leg over the weekend and it has become badly infected surgery is planned for sometime today to open the wound up and to clean it.

Arrange to take Thursday and Friday off as leave not sure if Helen is staying over tonight they don't provide parents with beds like they do on other children's wards she is just having to crash out.

Helen goes in to work for appointment on her periods of sickness over the last few months hopefully this will go OK and it should be more or less to find out if its work related.

Afterwards she will walk over to the breast clinic to find out first hand the results from her tests from the scan and ultra sound she had nearly a month ago. She found out she will have to go back this Friday to finally sort this out and get the results.


We are then meeting on the bridge were we use to meet on before we started living together and living apart this was when our relationship was in its infancy and it seems ages ago , we have done that much together and so much has changed and happened that it seems longer than only last August when we swapped phone numbers and meet for the very first time out side of work.

So at a few minutes before twelve i set of to the bridge the sun was out and the Sky was blue i did feel nostalgic and i did get de-ja vu feelings on the walk down and it did feel good , it has been a while since we have meet on our bridge and i did reminisce back to the start of our relationship which only started properly in August of last year although we had known each other for six years through working together,We went to the Aire Bar it use to be our bar of choice for our diner time meetings , Helen had her usual half lager and lime i had half a cider we sat out on the balcony and time went too quickly, but seeing her did make my day and it made going back to work just about bearable , it was hard looking back and waving bye bye but that was hard at the start of our relationship and if it wasn't we wouldn't of got to here and now.
At least at the end of my working day i Do get to go home to the most amazing woman i have ever meet to go to bed with and wake up with and i am happy .

.

Helen sorting the mess in our bedroom out which is basically putting everything whats hanged up on the bedroom floor e.g her clothes hehe back on to hangers (we did buy four packs of ten) and putting them away in the triple wardrobe that i moved my stuff out of when we bought and assembled the double wardrobe that we bought from Ikea a few weekends back.

Went to the wages department at the hospital and handed in my forms to opt out of the pension scheme will take between four to six weeks to process which will mean a cash refund plus a extra £60 - £70 more money each month and i do already pay in to a pension scheme with my full time job.

Paid two months rent on the apartment we vacated in march totalling £1050 and i also paid £150 of the gas electric bill working to pay bills atm but ain't we all .

When i got home i checked the bedroom Helen had put everything away we can see the bedroom floorboards once again well done babe

The guardian gargoyles on the fountain at Bolton Abbey

The ruined Abbey

Walk across the bridge with Penny to the Abbey

Celtic Cross and view of the Abbey

SATURDAY
left Guy alone whilst we went to work we both finished at three picked him up from home after we had got changed i went on a bike ride with him afterwards we all headed for The Roundhay Fox for tea Guy had a cheese and bacon burger with fries Helen had the scampi option and me i had a lamb curry the idea was to fee guy then take him back home.We stopped of at my twin Sisters house then we dropped guy of at his house that's when he asked if he could spend another night with us we agreed so we headed back to Rodley once there he changed his mind and wanted to go back home i think it was the thought of Helen an me going to work and leaving him alone also that he had to go back to school Monday and he wanted to spend a complete day at home before Monday morning came round his mother collected him well after eleven thirty pm.
Tuesday phoned she got home safely from her holiday so that was good news .

SUNDAY

went to work until three then picked up Penny and headed for Bolton Abbey parked up and walked over the bridge up over to the Abbey the other side of the river first time i have ever visited this Abbye and it was warm enough for it to be a nice walk Penny still getting used to being on a lead but manage the walk OK this is now the farthest she had now walked and is getting better.

On the way back home stopped of at Murgatroyd's fish restaurant at Guiesley for supper of fish chips b&b peas and baked beans tea and coffee a good finish to the weekend

Left Helen and Guy at home whilst i went to work was hoping to get off early but a few members off staff are on leave already or off for the day so its not going to be possible .
So i wont arrive home until 8.45pm tonight Guy will be in the company of Helen all day i have no doubt that they will get on fine.
Helen never ceases to amaze me she is so accommodating when it comes to my Son she genuinely at ease with him and i know Guy is impressed with her and he has said to me that i am more chilled out and more happier then i ever was when i was living as married man he has noticed a change in me for the better which is all down to Helen's influence and her love that she shares with me.
Got a call of Helen she asked if i can i go and get her a 38c white bra from Primark in my dinner break i was in town when she rang me , she already bought one in black a few weeks ago and liked it so she was asking me if could i call in and get her one , this is the one woman i will do anything for so of course i did i could not refuse so i did go and buy her the white one she wanted and another black one as well and i did show the shop assistant a photo of Helen that i have on my phone just to proof i wasn't a transvestite hehe , after that went to the Market to get a Doner meat and chips with red onions and garlic mayo.
MY daughter Tuesday should be back home from her holiday in Spain today and hopefully tanned and alright its the first time she as been abroad on her own i have not had any messages or texts telling me of any mishaps or incidents.

Not working again tonight might nip over to Bridlington to see how they compare to what Scarborough was like Yesterday O/J.

Hopefully getting the cooker repaired today and we will be cooking with gas once again and considering the oven is electric that wont necessarily be the case hopefully.

finished work at 3.15pm just as i got home i got a phone call off my son Guy he asked if he could stay sleep over tonight and Friday night he as not been to school all week he has been ill with some type of viral infection , he doesn't grasp the fact that i have to go to work and i cant just take time off as much as i would like so i can be with him , Helen agreed he could stay with her all day Friday the cooker man didn't turn up he is rescheduled to come tomorrow Friday .

Went to pick my son up from his house with Helen we got there for half five then we all went to Asda to get some shopping i bought another DVD player which was cheap and black it was to replace the one that i gave him for his bedroom also took the barbie back we bought from the Pudsey store but never used got a credit voucher instead of cash which seeing there is always something we want is as good as cash .
Had a ready cooked chicken with freid potatoe slices cheese and tomatoes for tea/supper we sat out on the patio to eat with a glass of lager and lime.

Went to a near by industrial estate to practice driving highly illegal one license between three of us Helen had a go in the car first and she did get to move forward after a few attempts and would with more space be more confident and more able it had been a while since she was behind the wheel of a car , Guy did also get it to drive without stalling it .

Last night we slept in the spare front room just for a change the bed head is under the window and we let the wooden blinds slates open woke up this morning at four thirty with the morning sun already shining through the window.

Finished work at 3.45 manage to get to local barbers in Rodley to get a long over due hair cut which turned out ok Helen had her haircut and coloured during the day whilst i was at work.

we decided to drive over to NewMiller Dam at Wakefield lorry broke down on the m621 which took a good twenty minutes to get through ,we took Penny along with us we parked up and began the walk round it was quite warm and sunny its the farthest Penny as ever walked we sat down once we got round the other side and she manage the walk round with out us having to carry her completed the walk so went to the Toby carvery inn and had a pint of cider Helen had half lager and lime Penny had water and dog biscuits sat down out side it was just about half past seven and decided we needed food like a fish and chip supper so on impulse decided to go over to Scarborough for our fish and chips at least you cant beat eating your fish and chips in the proper atmosphere sea and salt air golden beaches at dusk , on the beach front or that's what picture i painted.

We arrived there at around ten fifteen and it was dead 4th of June and its like a ghost town few people walking about and there was only one fish shop open on the main beach front all the fresh sea food shacks were also closed the ice cream and waffle parlours was closed too , the amusement arcades most off them was also closed the ones open where empty of people and must have cost them more in electric than the money they was making on the slots , every one of the gift and souvenirs shops had their doors shut ,the big wheel and dodgems on the Pier amusements was dead to the world and shut, we did have our fish and chips on a bench on the sea front but they was not as good as we would have liked we ate them or most of them and then drove back home.

Arrived home just after midnight for tea and coffee Penny when straight into her cage and crashed out even though she did sleep most of the way there and most of the way back .

we decided to sleep in the spare room again 2nd night running will go back to are nmormal room tonight.

Penny our Jack Russell went out for the first time yesterday on her harness Ellie had bought her via EBay the traffic scared her and she was weary of strangers walking towards her but she walked most of the way though Helen did carry her some of the way but her first adventure out went OK.

I was suppose to walk her with Helen when i got home from my hospital shift but by then it had started to rain.

Work tonight then two nights off yippee once i have finished at four it will be straight home i have never since November last year finished my day time job and driven straight home , i have always gone to work from one job to another,and the nights i have had off i have always had the whole of the day off so its worked out i have had time off from both jobs , in the past i have had days off my from my day time job and had to work the night shift i have never worked the day and had the night off so its a first if you get my drift.

Took a stuffed rolled pork joint out of the freezer this morning Helen is going to do a Sunday dinner on a Tuesday bless her with chips and gravy lol o/j.

Went to Morrison's whilst i was out and about to get some plastic coat hangers all sold out Helen now as a wardrobe but lacking hangers sods law.

Got home early the pork joint was in the oven , the mushroom and onion gravy was being stirred and the veg was bubbling away merrily, then Helen went to turn bast the joint and turn over it that was when it was noticed that it was not cooked it was still raw and pink , the fan was on the oven but it was stone cold our oven is now a ice box ,we had to transport it over to her mums house 5 minutes away and cook it there this saved the day and we did have our stuffed pork joint whilst it was cooking we came back home got Penny and strolled down to the canal with her by the time we got back home the joint was cooked and we went back to collect it and took it home to eat.with chips and out of this world gravy.

Back at work and i am bored already last week went too quickly and today will go really slow i did manage to get home and see Helen i am a key holder at work and hold the keys in case of emergency's break ins etc etc which i no longer want to do , not that i ever got called out so they requested i go home and fetch the keys to hand back in perfect excuse to get out.
I had a cup of coffee at home and a kiss and cuddle with Helen which made my blue Monday not so blue anymore.

All i need now is for nine o clock and home time to come asp so i can get home and chill out and relax , i do have two nights off this week Wednesday and Thursday so when i finish at four its straight home hopefully weather permitting will try and cycle into Leeds via the canal bank

Friday
went over to Ikea Helen bought some more plants and another three wicker baskets for the coffee table a white net canopy to suspend over the bed head a solid wood chopping board and a throw for penny to chill out on in the living room , had hot dog coke and a chocolate doughnut once we got through the checkout a lorry had broken down so getting out was a nightmare dropped Helen at house the went to work.


Saturday
went to work alone Helen full of cold and flu like symptoms she ain't well at all which means i only work until one o clock after finishing work i walked into town i had to go to pay the mortgage on the house i left my wife and kids in bought a Nike bag to replace the bag i bought cheap false economics went to Boots the chemists bought some simple linctus and Sudafed for Helen then went home went to find a soft furnishing shop Denhelm in Bradford after driving around for ages we found it just before closing time , Helen bought six padded seat cushions for the dining table chairs we went back to Ikea to pick up a Aspelund three door wardrobe for the spare bedroom had three miss calls that i noticed it was my son Guy he wanted to know if he could sleep again i told him that i was at working in the morning till one again and if he stayed Helen would be home to look after him but that she was poorly and he was to let her sleep not that he be up before midday anyway so he agreed so after dropping the wardrobe of we picked my son up got fish and chips on the way home for supper.

Sunday
Finished work at one got home assembled the wardrobe and Helen rearranged the bedroom around and it looks a lot better i moved all my clothes into newly built wardrobes and Helen has now got the triple wardrobe in our bedroom and at long last she can organize her clothes and get them on hangers i also put up the canopy over the bed head whilst Helen baked a strawberry pie she had been promising for ages she would have ago at baking one for me i told her my mum use to make them and once it was cooked between Guy and me it must have only lasted a hour we had it with ice cream it was just too nice after eating all the pie (unfortunately Helen did not get any oops sorry) and it was has good as i remembered i have not had strawberry pie in over 35 years thank you Helen .... we dropped Guy off home at around half seven after giving him our DVD player which is more or less brand new because he had mentioned the one he has in his bedroom no longer works he does spend ages watching films in his room so i felt it was right that he took ours.
Went to the Polash Indian restaurant at Pudsey for supper Helen had her usual extra hot chicken korma and i had chicken Rogan josh.

Thursday
Guy got up at half eleven it was quite warm and the sun was out so we decided to get the bikes out and go down to the canal and cycle the Liverpool way last time me and Helen did this direction we only did a mile and it started to rain so we did a u-turn this time it was different we made it all the way to Shipley we stopped at a mobile cafe take away van and got a sandwhich and drink before we headed back home we it took just over an hour by the time we got home it was more or less time to drop Guy back home seeing that i was working at five Helen came with us for the ride but it was too late to drop her back home so she stayed with me until i had completed my shift.

Friday
Helen not too well today having back ache and she felt like she was coming down with something last night she had a sore throat and feeling hot and clammy we was planning on going to Whitby but the weather is dull cloudy and rainy so we would not have gone anyway.

Wednesday
After getting up yesterday went over to a gun shop in Pudsey and bought a co2 air pistol which he wanted he put £40 towards it my son does attend a club in Fairburn to target shoot also bought some stainless steel bb's and 15 gas canisters.

All of us went over to xcape at Glasshoughton went to Burger king yum yum whom now don't do any milkshakes of any kind which is only what i use to go for , then dropped Guy off back home he asked if he could stay over again tonight we said yes and that i would pick him up after i finished work at nine o clock,which i did we had pizza's for supper doner kebab meat and barbecue chicken and fries from a local take away and watched 30 days of night on dvd.

Got up early we both left the house at 8-30 am we taking Penny our Jack Russell to the vets for her immunisation injection after this one she can walk out side this time next week.she had it no problem didn't even flinch going to get her micro chipped in June.

Started reading John Twelve Hawks 2ND book the dark river which is following on from his first book The Traveller

The cheap bag i bought is already knackered the zip has gone and opens apart on its own so looks like i will have get a Nike backpack after all and sod the extra cost.

Phoned my son up he would like to stay over at our house in Rodley this is a big break through its the first time he has asked if he come round never mind sleep over and stay and it would be the first time that he would meet Helen a hour later i got a cal saying he changed his mind then i got a call back saying he wanted to stay i picked him up and he did stay he meet Helen and he likes her which i knew he would he liked the house and the way we have it arranged so all in all it went smoothly he had supper with us pork chops and played with penny and just generally chilled out,Helen made him feel more than welcome and did everything to make him feel happy and at ease she couldn't ave done anymore.Guy brought theCanon printer from home which i had left so they could print there homework off , and hooked it up to my pc so he could down load cover art for his dvds that he had backed up we spent a hour printing covers

Sunday

We both finished work i cleaned the house Helen prepared some food pizzas quiches dips and nibbles and sandwiches.
We have a friend that is staying over tonight Keri she now lives in Bristol.And she is holding a psychic party at our house , and is doing card reading using tarot and rune stones.

Helen's Mother is attending with her sister Doreen along with her cousin Sharon and her friend Julie plus my twin sister and older sister Anne and Irene.
I had my cards read and i was impressed with what i got told obviously time will tell for some of the statements to be proved right or wrong but i felt the reading was exact and right.

Monday
Bank holiday and i am at work doing 7.00am till 1.00pm shift at least its double time i left Helen tucked up in bed nice and warm i love waking up with her by my side its difficult sometimes going to work i was going to write hard but thought better of it lol.

Went to over Harrogate didn't get there until four thirty walked round then drove over to Pool to the White Hart we both had lamp chops with fries with a side order of cabbage onions and peas for desert i had white chocolate cheese cake and Helen had apple and strawberry crumble with ice cream .

will be working again this weekend seven till three o clock . We are or Helen as arranged a psychic party for this Sunday for family and close friends at our house in Rodley roughly six people should turn up for there cards reading and other activities both my sisters are going to be there as well reloaded my i-pod i have it playing through my i-pod dock at work when everybody have left for home and i am by myself atm have got some T-Rex ,
Be Bop Deluxe , Elton John , Lupe Fiasco , Usher , Radiohead , REM , The Cure , RHCP , Razorlight ,The Killers , Coldplay , Snowpatrol , Manic Street Preachers but to name a few would like to get a few good eighties compilation albums
Have a few films to watch Leon , The Hitman based on the computer game , Beowulf , and AVP ,Ferris Buellers day off , and Risky Business .

Need to buy a new backpack for work the one i have is totally gone ripped torn plus Penny has been giving it a chew to help it on its way and the zip as come away from the rest of bag the top and sides are completely open don't want to spend a fortune as long as i can get in all that i need to carry with me and its black is all that i am really bothered about , what need to in is the i-pod and dock power lead , my uniform essentials such as coffee and sugar , pens a notebook , reading book the odd newspaper and bits of shopping that i buy on the odd occasions.

Back at work after being off sick for three days, and its dragging i walked into town at dinner time a trip to Debenham's to buy some Estee Lauder 05 foundation for Helen at £22.50 its costly to look good glad i don't have to wear it , it must be costly being a woman with the cost of make up , lipstick , eye liner etc etc and other perfumes lotions and potions.

Messed up the council tax thought i had paid Aprils only to discover i had paid March's i thought i didn't have to start payments until April my error so now i have two months to pay instead of one got to be paid before the 2nd of June which i will have to do or they will want the full amount paying £900.

Have got five days off next week Monday to Friday but not the nights off i will have to go to work for five i have booked the 4th and 5th July from my nights job and a whole week of nights the first week in July.

Bought some more plants for the garden and a hanging basket for the front of the house need some more containers and pots for the window sills.

Not been to work for the past two days hopefully be back tomorrow i think i have got a kidney infection or some sort of virus always something doing the rounds constantly feel drained and tired with pain in my lower back i do have next week off so will have to try and get better for then .

Helen went to see the spiritualist Stephen Holbrook at Morley town hall he is going to appear at the Hilton Hotel Leeds on the Saturday 6th of July i think we are going to see him there together be my first time at such an event all reports and feed back from his shows are good so i would like to see for myself and get my own opinion of him also we are also supposedly going to see Colin Fry at the Leeds Town Hall on the 4th of June which is a Wednesday that's if i can get the time of work.

Hopefully got all next week off not sure what nights i can get off but my day job i have time off from although i am working the weekends which is a bit of a bind if the weather is going to be hot.Hoping to get some serious miles in on the bike along the side of the canal be interesting to see how far i can do.

Still need to sort out a wireless router the one Ste bought was a bag of shit and only 54mps which is pointless if we are going to be running two laptops of it and we want to access the whole of the house including outdoor areas now that we have the patio table and chairs.

Penny our Jack Russell pup is doing fine she still not proper toilet trained but we are or Helen is persevering with it and we Will get there in the end she has another injection next Tuesday then a week later she can walk outside and go to the canal with us which should help matters a lot

We do need some more lights and maybe some out side candles but to when we first moved in the garden is unrecognisable to what it was and its mainly down to Helen planting bushes bulbs and flowers and tidying up what was already there.

Helen got her patio furniture that she had bought and just finished paying for but had to leave it at her house it as took some getting here and i thought we would end up buying some green plastic chairs and table , but it was a nice surprise and set out on the patio when i arrived home from work at nine all it needs is a coat of teak oil to bring it up looking like new.We have a cream parasol to set up and a new barbecue to put together and set out hopefully for this weekend also Helen brought over a log burner which her father had made with logs and some more garden ornaments including a hedgehog butterfly and some pot ware. Hopefully the weather will be decent enough and warm enough to get the food cooking also might buy some more lights and some perspex place settings from Ikea or Asda .

it will be nice change to sit out on a evening to eat tea or supper in the garden or just down a few alcoholic beverages and just to chill will set up i-pod and dock for some music and hopefully get the wireless Internet connection which is on going and still trying to be configured without any success up and running and buy a cheap laptop for surfing the web out of doors weather permitting.


will also get some parasol lights if we can find any nice ones that are plain white lights and not the multicoloured lanterns . Checked the BBC weather forecast and it should be sunny for Saturday we are both working until three o clock so not doubt it will be fine and sunny until we leave work.

Had yesterday off got up decided to go to Morrison's for breakfast before going for Helen's hospital appointment pigged out and arrived at the LGI on time and we was in and out in twenty minutes the scans have showed that there something is there but they don't think it is a bad diagnosis we wont know for sure for another ten days when Helen's GP will have the final results,
Did some shopping i town bought a Diesel t-shirt and Helen got some girlie things from Riverisland went to Primark and bought another two navy t-shirts for work at the Hospital and another couple for knocking around the house and for wearing on the bike rides also bought some trainer socks and ten pairs of white socks just because i am sick of wearing black socks with white trainers.

finally got home after going to see Helen's parents for an hour we got the bikes out and went out on the Canal pedaled to the Abbey Inn just had a half each and crisps and headed back home the gel seats made a big difference and the fact i had pumped more air in to the tyres also made riding easier.

Sorted some stuff out in the garden that needed doing hammered in some nails with lead fasteners and run garden twine around these to fasten it place to support the climbing plants and sweet peas we have growing.

Went to my Nephews house at Greengates for his 40th birthday my twin sister Anne was there with Alan her partner , my other nephew Andrew marks brother was there his partner could not attend and my other sister Irene who is marks mum and her partner Ged was there and marks partner sue of course was there who ordered all the food from the local Indian restaurant for us all and did all the starters of samosa , pakoras and bahjees in the oven prior to food arriving.

Helen once again has forgot to pay her o2 phone bill she she as been cut off again hehe but can receive text and calls but cannot send or call out.

Need to bye some blank dvds and cds we also need to get Helen some headphones for her Samsung phone.

Decided we are going to have our first barbecue this Saturday i want to get some duck for a change see what it tastes like charcoaled cooked do some nice kebabs get peppers onions chicken cherry tomatoes other salad stuff and new potatoes , will have to get some plastic plates and bowls and take the kitchen table and chairs out on the patio until Helen brings her patio set from her house

Helen goes back to the Hospital tomorrow to the breast clinic for another mammogram hopefully this is just routine and once again she is giving the all clear.

i have got the whole day off including time of from my evening job , so i will spend all day with Helen , we going to my nephews Mark to celebrate 40Th birthday on Wednesday night his partner Sue she is ordering loads of Indian food and takeaways to feed everyone so it will turn into a double celebration .

we bought a barbie from Asda (that's summer over then) also bought two gel seats for the bicycles to make riding more comfy and a foot pump and one puncture repair kit just in case.

So hopefully can pig out come barbie time loads of kebabs and cider , and then ride the calories off at the side of the canal 127 miles to Liverpool i don't think so.

Helen brought two sun loungers from the house that she bought last year but never used they are still in the cellophane wrappers and a cushion for the metal bench we have in the garden.

Saturday
Helen not worked the weekend she is worried over the breast clinic appointment this coming Wednesday . so i finished my shift at one o clock after i had covered her ward she works on so that was nice , picked Helen up from the house and we drove over to Castleford then went to Glasshoughton Centre to the Carphone warehouse retail shop there where Helen bought a new Samsung J700 on pay as you go for £59.99 and its working fine with her sim card which escaped the water damage , she ordered a 2 gig memory card of eBay for her music and photos to fit on.

Sorted out pc problem i ran AVG antivirus i downloaded from work and it got rid of a load of Trojan's spyware and virus threat and i have got to say did the trick PC now running fine .

Sunday
finished work at one called in to Leeds city centre bought some camouflage shorts and a pair of khaki ones hope the hot weather lasts.

Went over to Flockton to see Sharon and Steve took Penny with us her first proper trip out since we got her .Had a barbecue pigged out had a couple of lagers stayed till around seven thirty drove home .

We finally did another bike ride , went back down to the Canal this time headed towards Leeds it was half eight when we started so we did not have daylight hours on our side but we still managed to do about seven miles we both need new saddles and must get a foot pump for the tyres need to get a day off just so we can have a relaxing ride and day out on the bikes.

Got computer troubles at home something has hijacked FireFox searching using Google just not happening taking ages to find and search run A2 , and spybot found loads of spyware and stuff which i deleted but a day later its just as slow will run anti virus but if its spyware it might not detect what needs removing .

Helen got mobile phone problems she accidentally dropped her phone down the toilet apparently her Sim card is still working but the phone is dead which is on a eighteen month contract but without insurance to cover a replacement phone , she went round to our next door neighbours to use there land line to call me as she couldn't email me at work due to the problem that is written above.....she as asked if i can buy her a Sony Ericsson k800i on pay as you go so she can put her contract Sim card in to it and resume where she left off but keeping it well away from the bath and toilet etc. she is suppose to be baking me a strawberry pie today fingers crossed i just hope she remembers to wash her hands after fishing her phone out from the toilet bowl .

I am downloading a free version of AVG anti virus putting it on pen drive and taking home to try and sort out my PC worries hopefully i will try Helen's Sim card in my phone if it works will then get a new phone for her tomorrow.

A good freind at work gave me his mountain bike its virtually brand new but does have some rust in some of the cables but nothing that a spray of wd40 wont sort out.

Helen got a letter from the hospital saying she as to go back for another Mammogram scan after already been giving the all clear just a few days ago ... this is worrying , i think they are being careful rather than worried that they messed up the previous test.

Helen and i took Penny to the vets for her first injection this morning she never made a whimper don't think she even noticed what was going on thick skinned or what.got leaflets for pet plan insurance the first six weeks are free then you are then giving the option of joining or not once the paperwork and fees are sorted out it will be up to us if we go with them or not there is no money up front so if we don't like the cost then no obligation and we will look round else where for a cheaper quote .

Whilst we was at the vets got a phone call from the landlord the heating engineer was at the house to sort out the boiler and the hot water which was not running as hot as it should have been told him we was ten minutes away we was just in the process of leaving the vets we got home and the heating engineer was waiting for us to let him in obviously he noticed the dog , i thought he might have let the landlord know or let it slip so i made my mind up to come clean...... and i phoned our landlord up to explain the dog situation we need not have worried as he is more than happy with the way we are looking after his house and knows if we have a dog that its in a pen when we are not with it and wont be let to run around the house unattended so he was more than happy.... what a result .

Got into work just before 9.45 thank god for flexi at dinner time walked into town needed to buy a couple more navy t-shirts to wear at work on a night so went to Primark no joy none left how many people require navy blue t-shirts i ask myself.
Went to fish bar near market and just bought a scallop for my dinner nearly got a Muller light there was a promotion on in Leeds city centre and they was giving tubs out free to Jo public but for some reason i didn't bother do like the apple flavour the most and i think it was a new type they was promoting .

Finished work early because i started twenty minutes ahead of time so i still got all the work completed.Got home had curry rice and nan bread for tea plus a couple tins of Carlsberg with lime...........Helen is going to make and bake me a strawberry pie hopefully tomorrow she as already bought the custard

Back at work and its too hot hot and tedious got a pen for the Penny of eBay a Friend bid on it for me and i picked it up to day , its her new home hope she likes it is very big so she will have plenty of room to move around.Helen bought a chain and corkscrew fixing device so she can go out in the garden in the nice weather that we are having at the moment and hopefully will last .
Helen also bought her some pigs ears and some chewy sausages for her to munch on she is settling in fine and is already got a personality all of her own and has become part of the family all we need now is to clear it with the landlord and tell him all bout the new family member hopefully he wont be up in arms about it i will sort this out very soon

The sun is shining and the skies is blue i got to go to work at five till nine tonight what a bummer
it looks like summer as finally arrived at long last . least got most of the day off its my last day off foe a few weeks , i picked Helen up after she had been back to her hair dressers to get her highlights and colouring put right they missed colouring out and it was showing dark in places ........went over to Crown Point to Argos and bought a metal gate so we can have the conservatory door open but keep Penny behind bars well and safe.
Helen also bought a metal rose archway for the garden which we assembled and we fitted in place.
finished work got home at nine just chilled and relaxed did nothing but go on pc and watch tv back to work tomorrow on 14 hour days and its still worth it even more so.

Today woke up quite late Penny slelpt through out the night and did not wake us once aftet Helen had made some scrambled eggs for Pennys first taste of eggs for breakfast ,i took some short video clips with my camera of Penny playing around in the conservatory with Helen .

after one o clock we went to over to Roundhay park to walk round the lakes and to feed the ducks but there was that much bread floating around the water we decided to bin ours we then walked over to the tropical world to go round the gardens and see the wildlife bats and insects but people was queuing out of the gate to get in so what else was there to do but to go over the road to the Roundhay fox for a pint sat out on the wall .

Then we walked back to the car and drove over to Yeadon to the fish restaurant Murgatroyd's for a late dinner.

After pigging out neither of us bothered with desert big surprises .......we called in to a nearby garden center at Guiseley to buy some plants to go in doors plus the planters and saucers got a money tree which we both need hopefully will bring us some in a Yucca every house should have one and a Aeonium canariense instead of a palm which was nearly £45 also we bought it because it looked different and hopefully they will all live grow and bloom although i did manage to damaged the Aeonium canariense re potting it but hopefully it wont have any major effect on the plants longevity also re potted my bonsia which still lives and is doing fine

sat out in the garden and chilled out till it got too cold had a few bottles of cider and ice and listened to the birds sing their evening song which we could never have done in the apartment we lived in.

No work again for me i also have Monday and Tuesday off i am working Tuesday night till nine o clock..........Got up to take Helen to work the dog our jack Russell was crying as we left the house we did feed her and hugged her and let her run around for twenty minutes and made a fuss over her before we went out.

Picked Helen up went to buy Penny some more toys a bed and other bits and pieces , penny went on her first house visit went up to Helens parents to show off the dog she was minus the new skirt.

Sunday evening went over to the Whitehouse at Roundhay for dinner the vegetables raw ouch hardly cooked just blanched just how i hate and detest them , if they are not roasted then they must be boiled for at least 40 minutes if not longer or i consider them raw so seeing i was pissed off to say the least i just had to have a desert to make up after asking the waiter if he knew of a good fish and chip shop locally for when we left but it was lost on him never mind...........so had cheese cake apricot and almond with new jersey clotted cream which no doubt clotted the old arteries up even further all washed down with a pint of strongbow Helen had her apple pie and custard ..

Penny slept all night did not wake us during us going to bed and waking up in the morning.
i have the weekend of dropped Ellie of work bought two morning papers made a extra large cup off coffee and chilled.Penny asleep on Ellie's pink heart dressing gown tucked up nice warm and safe in the conservatory as i type this.
she woke up and was in a playful mood took some photos of her messing around and getting up to mischief.

Picked Helen up at three went to the pet shop ended up going to Colton Helen bought a pink collar and lead i bought a black collar and extend able retractable 8m lead guess which one i will be using when i take her out.Helen also bought her a pink dress hehe hopefully just for the house lol.

Last night went for a drink to the Barge first time we have been since we moved in sat out on the benches it was quite a warm night just had a couple bottles of Magners then went for a Chinese take away had duck in plum sauce chicken and mushrooms onion rings chips and fried rice.

Phoned up yesterday morning to arrange and go view a long legged Jack Russell from a farm the other side of Wakefield , finished work early went to go pick Helen up and set of with directions i printed out with the help of Google maps finally got there after stopping top ask for directions then farm was down a dirt track that went on for half a mile we viewed the dog it was the last bitch of the litter and agreed we want it we paid the money and took the dog home with us back to Leeds and our home at Rodley .

we stopped on the way and went to Tesco Helen bought it a blanket ,a teddy, some worming tablets , shampoo Johnson's baby shampoo and a bottle of flea treatment , poo bags and doggie cleansing wipes , food treats and tinned puppy food and dry puppy food , feeding and drinking bowls, it has a name Helen is calling her Penny ,this morning we heard her barking just after four o clock Helen got up to go see to it i heard her talking and chatting away to penny it was heart warming to hear to say the least , have ordered it a pet cage of eBay got a email saying it is on its way one hour after paying for it so hopefully penny will have her new house very soon Helen is out buying stuff for it she said to me that she wants to get it a pink bed and collar well after all it is a girl i am not working this weekend so i can baby sit and look after the little one and of course chill out .Helen is working this weekend hehe i will get up and take her to work then i will go back to bed.

Got home last night after hospital shift at nine at night and Helen had baked a pear and apple crumble with custard for desert yum yum .

Finally got Ethel back she is out in the back garden i bought her the day my mum(Ethel) died she would approve trust me she did have a sense of humour she also said she would come back to haunt me she has too hehe ... when i did leave home i had no choice but to leave it at home seeing it was way to heavy to take at that time.

Phoned a farm that breeds jack Russell's dogs which is near Barnsley and according to Google maps should only take 40 Min's so better take sandwiches and a flask as Ellie will be reading the map .....so i am finishing work early whilst its daylight so i will be picking Helen up from the house , so we can both go together and view a female long legged jack Russell they are being sold for £150 and are tri- coloured and are seven weeks old.

hope it doesn't eat Button the rabbit hopefully not.
will need to buy a bed and other dog items and needful things we are not informing the landlord which might not be a good idea if he finds out he has already agreed in principle to us owing a dog so if he did i dont think it would be the end of the world he knows we are looking after this house and a dog wont be allowed the freedom of the house so damage should be very little if nothing.

last night i finished work before my official end time of nine o clock i sneaked out early i had finished all of the work and i was not going to do any more left at 8.40 but in my defense i did start ten minutes early.

As soon has i got home Helen had tea ready some barbecued chicken pizza with home made chips
after got the drill out and fixed wall unit to the wall only after i had been round to ask next door if it would be ok to start drilling as i know they have two young kids , i was given the all clear the unit fixed in place i repositioned the pictures and fixed the rustic key and the wire heart and a magazine rack also on to the wall. removed some speaker stands that was fixed on the wall filled the holes and found some matching paint in the cellar and did a quick repaint looked finished job looked ok it was dark though.

Helen bought three ad papers to look for a long legged jack Russell puppies as a result got a few to phone up in and around Leeds.
Helen had sanded the unit down and waxed it , cleared everything away swept up then we just
Chilled out watched some Enigma videos on you tube had a few whiskey and cokes and a bottle of cider got to bed at half one .

Helen went out to the Hays garden centre and bought a load of plants and green stuff for the garden Alan Tichmarsh would have been impressed

She also removed a load of grasses and bushes from her mum's house that they no longer wanted i finished work at nine and picked Helen from her parents and loaded the car to transport them home they are all now waiting to be planted in to our garden at some time soon weather permitting.

Helen requested a job doing , i have to put the pine wall unit we bought from the hospice on kitchen wall only two screws needed to fix it in place
thats after Helen has sanded it and waxed it, so all being well some time next month then.

Helen's appointment at the breast clinic went OK after the mamagram and ultra sound scan she was diagnosed has having had either a block infected milk gland or a cyst no treatment is necessary and of course its the perfect result we both wanted and prayed for , a pity it took over six weeks for her to get an appointment through which caused untold anguish and turmoil.

Meet Helen after her hospital visit in town just after three dropped her off at her parents house and i went to my hospital shift once the building put on my i-pod and speaker dock and knocked out some Enigma tunes.... the shift went a lot faster then other nights.


Went shopping at bought the counter game connect four........ yes i did get BEAT playing it hehe fair and square she whipped my arse it was after one clock in the morning in my defence.

Woke up happy , Helen was talking in her sleep and snoring just as i remembered hehe i wouldn't have it any other way she is back and that's what counts her tooth brush is back next to mine side by side like she promised it would be and she was good to her word ,

I now know she loves me as much as i love her and it will work for the both of us as we have both given up lots to get us to here and now, but also we have given and received a lot in return such as Love , honour and respect plus the big fact of wanting and needing each other and in my eyes it's more than a fair exchange....... we do have a nice home which gets more homely with each passing week , as more ornaments and items are being added , also we can now decorate and do some wallpapering we asked permission from the landlord and he agreed ............. someone once said to me when i left home and my wife , that the grass is not always greener on the other side i can tell you all it is ..........not only is it greener its more of a meadow with less weeds and nettles and i feel more like lying down in it rather than running through it.

Helen today goes for her appointment at the hospital to the breast clinic to get checked out and see what the problem is deep down i believe she is OK and does not need to worry.

Helen asked if we could a Jack Russell pup so we can talk it for walks by the canal and also so that it would be extra company for her for when i am at work i agreed with no objections , Helen as decided already that she would like a female dog and that the likely name at this time for it will be Penny i am more than happy and it will be well looked after and no doubt spoilt rotten.

All in all everything is coming good and by the end of today we will be in a better position regarding Helen's health concerns and scares ....... we still do need to buy a wardrobe and drawers which are now on the top of the list along with Penny.

SUNDAY

This morning at ten to two am i was still receiving text messages and returning them to Helen she basically said she be with me in hours and it was going to surprise me then she asked if we could buy a jack Russell pup i do love them so its not a problem and of course i said yes she text saying she loved me and she was coming home so i wait i went to sleep high i was buzzing i did not get much sleep i woke up before the alarm at 5.45 and when the alarm went off at 6-15 am i was already in the bathroom getting ready to go to work.

I worked until one o clock driving home i got a text saying no more texts i went on my pc i watched some F1 went back on pc had a lager had a coffee and time stood still every minute seemed a hour and in the end i left the house and went to a atm machine to withdraw some money............. i decided to drive to the canal i got out of the car and walked down the tow path only did 300yards i turned round went back to the car and returned home i noticed her Fathers car i pulled up and walked through in to the hall i saw her five carry bags on the floor to say i got emotional was a understatement i hugged her and kissed her i knew she was home for good and dreams do come true more than once in a lifetime . I know she loves me wants me and she as made her decision to be with me and as far as i am concerned i will never let her down...... she as put her trust in me more than anyone in my life time i will never let her down for at the end of the day with what and how do you replace a Angel.

We drove up to my sisters house for a coffee tried to wrangle Sunday dinner she was cooking lamb a very small lamb so it didn't work so we decided to go to the Wellington inn on Wetherby road to the carvery for Sunday dinner .

Afterwards went to see a good Friend at his house and his wife Helen had a few lagers Helen few vodkas and cokes got back home just before one and went to bed cuddling up to a Angel once again..................i am contented with what we have and the house we live in and the life we share we are managing it all very well and as far as i am concerned its the best its ever been ..

Got up to go to work start of another day without Ellie ouch at least i will be seeing her to day she is coming round to see the landlord this afternoon and tidy the place up not that there is anything out of place or in a mess i have kept it tidy and clean not eating helps keeps the dish washing down .
bought two hearts to place on the twigs will have to get some better ones.

Helen came just before half three and we talked hugged and kissed and i shed a tear i was cut up she means the world to me and i have done nothing but miss her since she left she has her appointment at the breast clinic Monday and i know its worrying her last night she spent at Flockton with a good friend of hers Sharon she had text me to tell me so when she rang me later on i knew where she was i do worry about her she told me she would see me today and i wen to bed a lot happier than the previous few nights.

we saw the landlord Helen asked if we could put up the pine shelving unit he said yes and Helen also if we could paint the kitchen he agreed and that if we could paper the bedroom wall he also agreed to this as long as we don't use a flock wall paper he was happy with how the house was and left us after around twenty minutes .

we went upstairs to discuss the bedroom wall we wanted to paper don't know why we had to decide which wall we wanted to paper whilst naked but we did so the signs are all good i hope.

But we will have to see what Monday brings i am with her all the way so she decides both our futures i honestly think she is with me i know she loves me that is not the question what she does is purely down to her ................i dropped her of home on the way she took some photos of me on her mobile phone......... on the way back i got some spare ribs and fries from the Chinese at Rodley and went home.......................Helen said she was going to her mums house to spend the night i asked her if she wanted to go for a drink to phone me than i said if she didn't want to go for a drink to phone me so hopefully tonight at sometime i get a phone call from a Angel

I did get a text of her on the way home with a picture of me which she took with her phone saying i " a do truly lov this guy x" WATCH THIS SPACE ....................

Yesterday was the first full day without Helen being there,and it was really hard harder than the first day , although we have been in touch via text and she did ring me she told me she did go to our home through he day for a coffee with her mother and brother which i was glad about , and it made me smile knowing that she wanted to return there , she feed the rabbit Button some dandelion leaves which no doubt made his day.

I got through work half heartedly if only i could live the next few days with out going to work it would be a lot easier work messes everything up , i want to go onto the canal at Rodley and just walk or ride my Bike Helen got me , and just chill look up at the blue skies listen to some music on my i-pod and think about Helen maybe do some reading look at photos and dream i know dreams come true mine did and i know fantasies can become reality i am still living them hopefully .............i know life is not easy and we all need someone special in our lives to share things with and to make our world a better place i am missing a Angel i will wait for her to fly home she can return any time she can the sooner the better every second is a hour and every hour a day and every day a week time drags when she is not with me and goes to fast when she is.

Went to Next clothes shop and bought a new jacket bought a couple of t-shirts for work and another ten pairs of black socks went to Debenhams and sprayed myself with angel perfume which is what Helen wears and i sprayed a card as well hope it lingers long .

We have long twigs that stand in a glass vase in the kitchen at the side of the dresser. Helen as already put a tin bird on there and a wooden heart and a fabric heart i will for every night/day that we are apart go out and buy either a heart ,a angel or a star and place them on the twig branches or a a candle i will do this until we are back together again.

Mick called with his wife Helen and stayed for a few lagers i ordered a pizza then well went to bed after midnight i got a call from my Helen which made my night.

I will be working this weekend OUCH ...i have got the landlord coming to visit to check the place out will have to finish at one on Saturday and might do the same finish on Sunday and go for that bike ride weather permitting .

Helen text me at work saying she was at her old house listening to Kanye West and was thinking of me and crying was a sad text to read..................got home to a empty house Helen had cooked a roast chicken and left it the fridge so i had made a chicken breast sandwhich with mayo and black pepper a coffee................i feed the fishes and i went outside to feed the rabbit Button i looked up and saw our three stars ............Helen left the house immaculate went up stairs and the bed was made thankfully she had not washed the sheets i told her not to i wanted to able to smell her with me she had done my washing and it was ironed on the bed for me to put away thank you baby........so far she has eased my pain she has text me all the right texts and messages and i do know she loves me and i know she will be back so very soon ....................... i got only a few hours sleep i woke up at four and never really got back off it was strange , the bedroom was too silent and quite , i could hear her bedside clock ticking away and the birds starting their morning song..... i heard no one snoring and talking in their sleep which made me feel sad and felt no body heat from the girl i love which nearly brought tears to my eyes , i miss cuddling her and feeling her next to me looking at her face whilst she is sleeping which i do every day ........................alarm went off and got up at 6-45am i woke her son Steve and we was both out of the house for 7-10 am after i had uncovered button the rabbit and feed him i got to work and received my first text of the day from my Angel Helen.............. she has got to go to a funeral today..... i went to one not long ago when i was living at my house and it made me realise live is short you only get one chance so be happy , and live every day as if it was your last live the truth not a lie , tell some one every day that you love them but only if its the truth....Ellie phoned me after the service and i asked her and she reassured me she is coming back and that is all i need to know..

Ellie leaves today to go back home but she will return and we will hopefully we will continue as one.

whilst we are apart we will stay in contact by email text and phone each other when we can .

it is not going to be easy and i will count the days down till we are together again received a white feather from her which meant a lot to me and its meaning.

so wait i will and miss her goes with out saying last night i will treasure for ever and hopefully they will be more to add to memories already made ..............................Ellie take care you are in my thoughts and in my heart always and i know that in the end we will move forward together.

the photo shows the message she wrote on the black board for me to read that we bought from ikea whilst living in the apartment we didn't use it till we moved into the Rodley address.

12.30

Helen sent me emails and text and she is saying and doing everything right and making it as easy as she can for me she is saying all the right things that i know come from her heart and i don't doubt her in the slightest and in my own heart i know we will be back together ASP .

15.30

Helen sent me a email she is leaving shortly our house and home at Rodley and is heading back to her old house ........Helen do take care baby heaven is with you hell is with out you and that's the way it will always be until you return safe

Tuesday

Got up this morning went over to kiss her goodbye as i was leaving for work when Helen said to me "what ever happens i love you" and " i will always love you" no matter what"............of course i asked her what had made her say that in the way she said it she said she still felt she had to go home to prove to everyone her marriage would not work and it might only be for a week De-javu or what its every other week we go through this and although i do understand her reasons i don't and cant understand the logic............. but if that what it takes and she is true to her word and its the final nail in the coffin and closes the subject once and for all then maybe it would be worth it...............

How i would last a week or longer without her by my side to laugh and joke with kiss and hug i don't know ...and would people criticise her for only giving it a week if that's all it was for... would it make life any easier i think not and i think it would be a big mistake and it would send a message of false hope and make matters worse than what they are know and she said to me she knows it wont work and her heart is not in it and she will return so why go .......its a tough one and i love her and i will always be here for her no matter what..... ....but within reason nobody wants to be in suspended animation i want her to be like the bonsai tree we bought yesterday stay forever green , never wilt with solid roots that are firmly embedded and strong to care for and to be natured on a daily basis forever more............. all i can say is watch this space its so hard at the moment after such a great few days together for this to go down hurts ten fold hope you realise what you doing to me girl .............trouble is i still love you and want you that wont ever change .

Yesterday went to Hebbdon Bridge did not st off until the afternoon got there just after dinner time the sun just came out as we got parked up.
Ended up buying a Bonsai tree have always wanted one it cost me £14.99 hope it does not die hopefully it will be round for years and me and Helen can watch it grow and bloom where ever we go it will go with us and its leaves will always be green and healthy fingers crossed that will be the case.

Helen bought a wire heart a fabric heart and a wooden heart to place around the kitchen with the other stuff she bought recently from our travels throughout Yorkshire .

Later on i visited my Son up at my house where i used to live i also got to see my dog Bandit dropped my daughter off for a interview fingers crossed she will get the job its working as a trainee hair stylist at a salon close to home .......... i picked up Ethel my gargoyle which i went out and bought it on the day on which my Mum died.

At night picked Helen up from her parents parked the car at home and walked down to the Canal and went to the Railway inn for a drink which is about half a mile up the canal we stayed for a pint had a talk then headed home.

Saturday we both went to work finished at three went home and packed a head bag for a night away in the Lakes Ambleside in Cumbria staying the night at High Loanthwaite farm which is a working farm which does B&B which was once owned by Beatrice Potter, that we found out about it on the Internet and phoned up to make a one night reservation.

We left Rodley at quarter past four after we had called into Gregg's and had a tea and coffee before setting off.The drive took us about two hours to reach Ambleside we found out where Hawkshead was then phoned the farm for directions ten minutes later we was in our room on the farm.


unpacked just the one case that night hit Ambleside town centre went to Tagore Indian restaurant had chicken in mango Helen had her normal chicken korma plus rice and poppadoms went to Churchill's bar hotel for a drink got lost on the way back the roads where well dark and everything looks the same with trees and stone walling every where you look any way did get back to the farm eventually Sunday morning had breakfast then drove and parked in Ambleside went up to saw the waterfalls walked to lake Windermere and caught the boat to Bowness which took just half an hour to complete the one way trip , once we disembarked we went round the town centre bought some hand made chocolates and truffles then had a coffee and tea at costas Helen does not do coffee at all....... after more walking about we then we got the return boat back to Ambleside to the car park where the car was then drove back to Leeds all in all it was a wicked time with a great girl and great scenery to boot.

today went over to Wetherby parked up and had a walk round the town centre i saw a hairdressers and decided to nip in for a hair cut i have to admit i was a bit skeptical but the lady that cut it did a decent job and i was more than happy with the end result so was Helen so once done we finished strolling round the rest of Wetherby and went back to the car and decided to drive over to knaresborough have not been there for ages got parked up no problem walked through the town to the Railway Station called in to the Mitre pub which is wine bar come hotel and restaurant for drink just half a lager and lime and half a cider , then walked down to the River Nidd followed the path along saw the house in the rock and all the different style of houses along the river bank eventually turned round and headed for the castle ruins took photos along the way got to admit i forgot how nice Knaresborough is and out of all the market towns near by Ilkley,Otley and Wetherby it is my favorite will go back once the weather is warmer and sunnier hopefully within the next few weeks .